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This took me a long time to do!
Posted by: JJ on May 8, 2004 @ 9:56 pm
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won’t give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
Q: How do you make a blonde’s eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: Why didn’t the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She’d just blow dried her hair and she didn’t want it blown around too much.
Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?"
Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
Q: What is the blonde’s favorite potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).
Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.
Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.
Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
Q: Did you hear about the blond who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times!
Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common?
A: They’re both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.
Q: How do you know when a blond’s been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!
Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
A: About 2 cans of hair spray
Q: What’s the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.
Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin
Q: Why don’t they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna.
Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde’s vagina?
A1: The Blonde!
A2: The other guys waiting their turn.
Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she’d ever been picked up by ’the fuzz’?
A: ’No. But I’ve been swung around by the tits.’
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: What’s a blonds’ favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they’re simple, easy and they taste good.
Q: Why can’t blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
Q: What is a blonde’s favorite part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver’s License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
Q: Why can’t blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can’t keep their calves together!
Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.
Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: "’Debbie’...that’s cute. What did you name the other one ?"
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she’s been laid all over the country.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!
Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.
Thanks!! |
Add your own comment
| From: |
Bob White on May 14, 2004 @ 2:36 pm |
| Comment: |
Q:what do you call three blondes that are horny?
A:a liquor cabnet |
| From: |
Jay&Jay on May 17, 2004 @ 4:01 am |
| Comment: |
I got a better one...
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears?
"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?"
"The stupid fucker called back." |
| From: |
erica on May 28, 2004 @ 1:54 pm |
| Comment: |
they were pretty good some didnt make any sense tho. |
| From: |
GO CALGARY on May 30, 2004 @ 6:22 pm |
| Comment: |
GOOOO CALGARYY!!!!!THERE GOING TO WIN THE CUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHOOP WHOOP!.
WAHOO |
| From: |
shaun on June 22, 2004 @ 3:18 pm |
| Comment: |
newsflash calgary lost you fuckin canadien. |
| From: |
cube on July 5, 2004 @ 4:51 pm |
| Comment: |
JJ and Jay&Jay’s names sure are similar. It reminds me of their children they have together. |
| From: |
kelly on July 5, 2004 @ 10:34 pm |
| Comment: |
damn that was cold. good work cube. lol you little bitch jay got told!!!!!!! |
| From: |
Jay&Jay on July 16, 2004 @ 6:07 am |
| Comment: |
well ill exept the fact you and shaun are queer togathe but i still have 1 question...why in the fuck did you need to bring your father in that? |
| From: |
Amanda on July 26, 2004 @ 12:30 am |
| Comment: |
these are some awsome jokes! |
| From: |
mr uk on July 27, 2004 @ 7:48 am |
| Comment: |
funny |
| From: |
peely on January 16, 2006 @ 5:57 pm |
| Comment: |
Two blondes walk in to a building
u would think one would see it |
| From: |
heather on January 16, 2006 @ 6:06 pm |
| Comment: |
they’re alright, but I didn’t get some of ’em...hm... |
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