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these are funny!!!!
Posted by: kel on September 21, 2004 @ 7:53 pm
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you’re next!" /
A couple of blondes were driving through Louisiana when they came to a sign that told them they were almost to Natchitoches. They argued all the way there about how to pronounce the name of the town. Finally they stopped for lunch. After getting their food, one of the blondes said to the cashier, "Can you settle an argument for us? Very slowly, tell us where we are." The cashier leaned over the counter and said: "Buuurrrrrr-Gerrrrrr Kiiiinnnnnggg!" /
There was a blonde and she really wanted to become a cop. One day she went to the police station and said she wanted to become a police officer. They said well you have to be smart to be a police officer so we’ll ask you a few questions. "Okay" she said. "What is 2 + 2?", said the police officer knowing how dumb blondes always are. "Ummm, 4", she said hesitantly. "Okay correct",he said. "What color is the sky?" "Ummm", she though "Well many different. Usually blue but sometimes red or orange or yellow or a pretty shade of pink." "Correct", the policeman said confused that she knew it. "Okay 2 more questions: What is a hare?" She answered: "Either a hair on your head and legs or other places or it could be a rabbit!" "Wow", the policeman said astonished. Okay last question: Who shot Abraham Lincoln? "Hmm" she thought, "That’s a hard one." Okay the officer said, I’ll let you sleep on it and you come back tomorrow with the answer. That night she went home and had some friends over. They asked her if she got the police officer job and she said, "I think so. They put me on my first case!" /
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss concerned about all his employees well being asked sympathetically, "What’s the matter?" To which the blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss feeling very sorry at this point explains to the young girl. "Why don’t you go home for the day. We aren’t terribly busy, just take the day off to relax and rest." The blonde very calmly states, "No, I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything just let me know." Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her asking, "What’s so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" "No", exclaims the blonde, "I just received a horrible call from my sister and she said that her mom died too!" /
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn’t get out of her room. "You can’t get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here," she cried, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says, ’Do Not Disturb’!" /
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds. When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that’s amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nods. "I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. "No, from skipping." /
A blonde man frantically calls 911 and says, "Help, my wife has gone into labor and her contractions are 10 minutes apart!" The 911 operator asks, "Is this her first child?" To which the blonde replies, "Of course not you idiot, this is her husband!" /
This beautiful blonde walks up to an officer and says, "Can you help me? I’ve locked my keys in my car." So the officer bends a coat hanger and feeds it through the window, moving it back and forth to catch the lock when suddenly, the other beautiful blonde sitting in the passenger seat says, "A little more to the left officer."
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Add your own comment
| From: |
valerie on September 26, 2004 @ 8:26 pm |
| Comment: |
next time dont make it so long |
| From: |
noon on October 2, 2004 @ 10:36 pm |
| Comment: |
damn blondes r so dumb according to these jokes |
| From: |
byron on October 3, 2004 @ 3:32 pm |
| Comment: |
yea make them shorter
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| From: |
kris on October 3, 2004 @ 9:20 pm |
| Comment: |
man i’m blonde n i aight THAT dumb |
| From: |
Jay&Jay on October 9, 2004 @ 3:50 am |
| Comment: |
I agree with Chris about the blondes but shit some of those teenage goth girls are pretty fuckin hot if you ask me! |
| From: |
poul gul on October 9, 2004 @ 2:50 pm |
| Comment: |
poul rules
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| From: |
A hot blonde on October 10, 2004 @ 3:25 am |
| Comment: |
U FUCKIN RACIST BEAST. HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF BLONDES, BLONDES ARE:
PRETTY
SMART
AND EVERYTHING ELSE
WHY DONT U MAKE FUN OF BRUNETTES OR BLACKS OR BROWNS OR RANGERS |
| From: |
Mr. X on October 10, 2004 @ 12:53 pm |
| Comment: |
My Rant (Copyright 2004)
Guys, don’t take offense just because there are are a whole bunch of blonde jokes.... I’m blonde and gifted, and I’m in the top 25% of my gifted class in most subjects, and I love blonde jokes! They’re my favourite type of joke (other than trumpeter jokes, I have too many dumb-as-shit friends who play trumpet to not love trumpeter jokes). If you don’t like blonde jokes that make fun of blondes, dye your hair, because I get stupid looks because I’m blonde... I find a lot of blondes do. Also, don’t come onto dirtyjokesinc.com (key words: dirty jokes) and look in the blonde jokes section (Key word: jokes) and expect a joke that gives blondes the respect for our intelligence that we deserve. (and by the way, I make blonde jokes all the time because I know a lot of ditzy blondes, and I don’t see very many ditzy brunettes, do you?) |
| From: |
Brooke on October 14, 2004 @ 1:52 am |
| Comment: |
I dont really like the other ones, but the last one is funni!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| From: |
Jill on November 4, 2004 @ 10:33 pm |
| Comment: |
Yeah don’t get so defensive they’re just jokes. One of my best friend’s is blonde and she’s a hell of a lot smarter than me, she was taking colleege classes in high school. |
| From: |
Jill on November 4, 2004 @ 10:35 pm |
| Comment: |
Neway that 2nd one wasn’t really that great a blonde joke |
| From: |
Stacy Keibler on March 13, 2005 @ 8:58 am |
| Comment: |
Hey all my fans! I know that this was BLONDE JOKES... but I’m a blonde and not all blondes are dumb. I have a lot of blond friends which are not "dumb."
Thanks -
love always
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| From: |
NunaBeeswax77 on January 16, 2006 @ 6:41 pm |
| Comment: |
THey were funny but they were LONG Damn |
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