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Bush needs condoms
Posted by: Arte on August 20, 2004 @ 0:50 am
US Condom Factory Blows Up
President George Bush called Paul Martin with an emergency: "Our largest
condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried. "My people’s
favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"George, the Canadian people would be happy to do anything within their power
to help you," replied the Prime Minister.
"I do need your help," said Bush. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000
condoms ASAP to tide us over?"
"Why certainly! I’ll get right on it!" said Martin.
Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Bush.
"Yes?"
"Could the condoms be red, white & blue in color; at least 10" long and 4"
in diameter?" said Bush.
"No problem," replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Martin hung up
and called the President of Trojan. "I need a favor, you’ve got to make
1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to America."
"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.
"Great! Now listen, they have to be red, white & blue in color; at least
10" long and 4" in diameter."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the Prime Minister, "and print ’MADE IN CANADA; MEDIUM SIZE’
on
each one."
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Add your own comment
| From: |
me on August 21, 2004 @ 10:02 am |
| Comment: |
YOU SERIOUSLY WISH!! American men have what it takes. NOT Canadians!!! I’m from Canada and would NEVER leave American men for a Canadian!!!! |
| From: |
Arte on August 24, 2004 @ 9:58 pm |
| Comment: |
Thats just plain silly.
A Canadian man would please you then thank you then make you breakfast apologize if it wasnt good enough and try harder the next time and not brag or exagertate, making you look like trash to, all his buddies about it.
A Canadian man is every womans dream, like all Canadians they want to please. |
| From: |
the weird canadian on August 27, 2004 @ 3:43 am |
| Comment: |
I thought that was funny!
Thats the first joke making fun of America I have seen all day! I love it! |
| From: |
MOSES the CANADIAN on August 29, 2004 @ 5:10 am |
| Comment: |
lol funny joke.......and oh so true...... |
| From: |
Heavy P on September 2, 2004 @ 11:10 am |
| Comment: |
talia is a pussy |
| From: |
Lauren on September 10, 2004 @ 8:33 pm |
| Comment: |
LOL! |
| From: |
jair on September 28, 2004 @ 1:48 pm |
| Comment: |
american men don’t need condoms... they’re all bottoms. we canadian tops will bring our plastic with us when we come down there to play. |
| From: |
fabien de france on September 29, 2004 @ 6:18 pm |
| Comment: |
Vive le Canada , vive la France ! . |
| From: |
George Washington on October 8, 2004 @ 2:14 pm |
| Comment: |
Since I cannot tell a lie, let it be known that American men are far better than any Canadian man could dream. Is it a coincidence that Canadian men are called mounties when they ride animals???? I think not..... Canadians also ruined the 2004-05 NHL season. Way to go, eh? |
| From: |
Canadian Chica on October 11, 2004 @ 2:27 pm |
| Comment: |
Ruined our own sport? Ha, you wish. Typical Americans! Pointing the blame yet again. Besides Mounties is short for R.C.M.P. you dim wit. |
| From: |
DENNIS on October 17, 2004 @ 9:08 pm |
| Comment: |
CANADA IS THE MOST PATHETIC NATION EVER. THEY SHOULD BE GOVERNED BY GREAT BRITAIN AND AUSTRALIA. THANK THE DEAR LORD THAT CANADA IS A WEAK AND USELESS NATION. IF THEY HAD ANY SAY OR INFLUENCE WHATSOEVER, THE WELL BEING OF THIS PLANET WOULD INDEED BE IN SERIOUS JEOPARDY. STUPIDITY, UGLINESS, OBESITY, LYING, CHEATING, VANDALISM, COWARDICE, IGNORANCE, RACISM, HATE, LUST, WEAKNESS, AND RANCID BODY ODOR IS A COMMON TRAIT AMONG MOST CANADIANS. FURTHERMORE, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN EVEN SLIGHTY ATTRACTIVE CANADIEN FEMALE. ALL FEMALES IN CANADA ARE UGLY, FAT, HAIRY, SMELLY, AND ALL OUT REPULSIVE. THE LITTLE GIRLS IN CANADA RESEMBLE RETARDED, OVERWEIGHT BABBOONS THAT ARE REPULSIVELY DISGUSTING AND HAVE SICK LITTLE MINDS.
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| From: |
canuck hater on October 21, 2004 @ 12:56 pm |
| Comment: |
i think thyat all canadians should fuckin die, theyre a waste of life. i play hockey and we nutted in all canadian teams eyes! we fuckin killed them...theyre sport ha! we still kick ass and always will.and it is canadas fault that theres no season this year! fuckin canucks! always wanted more than the americans. just cuz we’d kick the shit out of them in anywar! blame canada!! hahahahahahahah!
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| From: |
Speakin the TRUTH on November 7, 2004 @ 12:42 pm |
| Comment: |
well u stupid canuck hater...everyone loves canada...too bad they cant say the same about americans...ur own country trained ppl how to fly and then the same ppl brought down the world trade center.....u guys are just plain old dumb....we are more than americans and def more liked...we autta take that stick up ur ass out and whip u with it u freakin arrogant idiot! |
| From: |
THE TRUTH on November 11, 2004 @ 1:05 am |
| Comment: |
DENNIS WE CANADIAN FEMALES ARE NOT ,UGLY,FAT, SMELLY,HAIRY, FUCK FACE ,THERE’S PROBABLY A FUCK OF ALOT MORE FUCKEN FAT UGLY,SMELLY,AND HAIRY FUCKEN HOE’S OVER THERE, FUCK FACE, AND WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU LOOK LIKE ASSHOLE |
| From: |
WHATEVER on November 11, 2004 @ 1:26 am |
| Comment: |
DENNIS YOUR JUST JEALOUS CAUSE YOU CAN’T LIVE IN CANADA, |
| From: |
Canada Drinking Team on November 22, 2004 @ 10:23 pm |
| Comment: |
LOL... Ohhhhhh you Crazy Americans....... Listen, this is the way it is.....
We’re bigger, and we’re on top. If this was prison you’d be our bitch......
Cheers! |
| From: |
HONEST american on December 1, 2004 @ 11:16 am |
| Comment: |
i have to say, everything i read dennis say about canadians seemed to painfully resemble americans. and ya, WHAT does HE look like? i’d take a hot canadian guy any day over an obese ignorant american!!! |
| From: |
JO canadian on December 2, 2004 @ 6:53 pm |
| Comment: |
Don’t take it to hard on the Dennis guy, this is probably his only way of venting frustrations on a particular scapegoat (that’s us) to feel better over things in his life that he can’t control: -Not getting enough at home
-therefore too much masturbation, resulting in injury
-paying U.S. medical bills for the treatment with no health care
-is most likley draft age (judging on ignorance and grammar)
-hasn’t had a pretty girlfriend yet
-and has only been hit on by guys instead
Since I’m at work and can’t keep em coming feel free to continue the list, lets just keep the shots intelligent so we don’t have to bring it down to certain peoples level, which is mainly one syllable sentances that are usually predictable that most people don’t bother to read. |
| From: |
DENNIS on December 5, 2004 @ 6:58 pm |
| Comment: |
THE GOOD DEAR LORD WILL MAKE U BURN IN HELL FOR STEALING MY HEART, DICKSHITHEADS
GO WIPE THE POOPY OFF OF GRANNY AND GRAMPS, ASSHOLES
I AM CANADIAN U FUCKING RETARDS, ARE U FUCKING RETARDED? I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!! I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN THE GREAT LAND OF CANADA! I RESIDE IN CANADA, ASSHOLES!!! I AM PRO-CANADIAN AND I LOVE CANADA!!! YOU WILL SURELY PERISH FOR YOUR EVILS!!!! |
| From: |
THE DOCTOR on December 9, 2004 @ 1:57 pm |
| Comment: |
You ARE a Canadian DENNIS?? Then I suggest upping your medication.
Especially with words like...."good dear lord?"...."burn in hell?"...."stealing my
heart?"...."perish for your evils?"
And, did you really use the word "POOPY?"....POOPY DENNIS? How can you call
anyone retarded when you use the word POOPY??
JO Canadian is right. This is the worst case of sexual frustration I’v ever come across.
However, my guess is that you have cut your right hand and are unable to masturbate,
ruining your ONLY love life.
Ranting righteous crap on a joke website leads me to belive you have a dose of the
"Sad Anal Bastard Condition," resulting directly from "No Friends Syndrome."
So, THE DOCTOR recommends a prescription of :
blow it out your ass, three times a day....better make that five, and a kevlar straight jacket
(highly recommended).
Finally, take a BIG chill pill POOPY DENNIS (the blue kind).
THE DOC. |
| From: |
DENNIS on December 9, 2004 @ 7:06 pm |
| Comment: |
HOW DARE YOU! I AM A REAL DOCTOR YOU FUCKED UP FOOL! I ATTENDED HARVARD AND THEN THE PRESTIGIOUS LA CHECHICHAN DAL VALICHE` UNIVERSITY IN CANADA FOR MY MASTER’S AND PH.D. I’LL LET YOU GUESS IN WHICH WONDROUS PROVINCE IT LIES. WHERE ARE YOU FROM? HMMM? SEXUAL FRUSTATION INDEED I HAVE NOT DEAR SIR! I SPOIL A VIRGIN EVERY NIGHT, GOOD DEAR SIR! AFTER I TRASH HER VIRGINITY I LAUGH AT HER AND MOCK HER BECAUSE I SPOILED HER FOR NOTHING AND SHE LOST HER PRECIOUS VIRGINITY FOR NOTHING!!! SHE WASTED HER VIRGINITY!!! FOOL! I THEN GO POOPY ON HER AND THROW DAT BITCH OUT WIT NO A DEM CLOTHES ON. DEM’S JAWN’S EZ HOT YO. AND SO YOU CAN SEE DEAR SIR, THAT IN FACT I HAVE NO SEXUAL FRUSTRATION! FOOL! I IN FACT SPOILED YOUR TWO SISTERS AND YOUR BIG BROTHER AND YOUR DEAR AUNT SARAH! FOOL! DARE YOU SAY ANYTHING MORE SIR! |
| From: |
omg on December 18, 2004 @ 11:32 pm |
| Comment: |
jesus u fucking net nerds making a big fucking fight out of nothing,jus grow up all of u and get a life like jesus |
| From: |
what the hell on January 12, 2005 @ 6:15 pm |
| Comment: |
how come so many people get so worked up over a JOKE?!?!?! |
| From: |
THE ANSWER: on January 13, 2005 @ 10:09 am |
| Comment: |
The answer to that question what-the-hell, is that they have nothing better to do and have no sense of humor. Mix that with good ol’ ignorance (US and Canadians) and we got ourselves a spat on the message board. |
| From: |
Helping Hand on January 31, 2005 @ 7:18 pm |
| Comment: |
Yowza! That joke is a good one! We’ll help y’all out with some condoms, but fergeddaboudit when it comes to flu vaccinations. Fix your lousy medical system down there and then maybe you’ll get some of our precious flu vaccines! You brag about how great and superior you are, right? Well, here, have a box of condoms and good luck running out of flu vaccines for your senior citizens who worked their asses off so you could sit around and mouth off now they’re all getting flu and we have vaccines and we’re not sharing cuz we have a better medical system. YOWZA and take that american woman stay away from meeeeeeeeeeee. |
| From: |
JO Canadian on February 2, 2005 @ 8:19 am |
| Comment: |
We don’t have sars.
We got it once but that was pretty short lived...Actually alot of places got it too. Good thing we weren’t in China eh?
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| From: |
DENNIS on March 29, 2005 @ 5:21 pm |
| Comment: |
HERRRRRRE’S DENNIS!!!
NOW LISTEN UP U FUCKIN AMERICAN PUNKS!
MY REAL NAME IS Micheal Librande. I LIVE IN Ottawa. U POOPY TERD LOSERS!!!
YOU EAT POOPIES. GO WIPE THE POOPIES OFF GRANNY N GRAMPS, ASSHOLES!!!
GO TAKE A SPONGEBATH WITH GREAT AUNT SUE AND OLD MR. JOHNSON!!
YOU HAVE TYPE 2 FECES ( THE WORST KIND, YOU FOOLS!!) (BTW- THERE’S 5 TYPES OF FECES U DUMBASSESS!!!) OH KOOM BAI AH!!!! I LOVE OLD MR. JOHNSON!! AS A LITTLE BOY I WORKED FOR HIM. I HAD MY FIRST INTIMATE ACT WITH HIM WHEN I WAS 13, hehehehe, IN ANY EVENT U.S.A. SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO CANADA!!!!!!!!!!! YAY FOR WONDERFUL CANUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DO ENJOY HOCKEY DEAR FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!! OH HOW I DO LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DR. PHIL IS MY GOOD DEAR FRIEND!!!!!!!! AMERICANS ARE ALL FAT AND STUPID AND THEY CAN’T EVEN LOCATE TURKMENISTAN ON A MAP!!!!!! IT’S IN SOUTHEAST ASIA, YOU DUMB FUCKS!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA FOOLS, I WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| From: |
meee on April 21, 2005 @ 5:24 pm |
| Comment: |
i luuuuuuuuuuuuvvvvvvvv the lot of ya stupid dickheads proppre true brit haaa haaa get down manchester you fukas xxxxxxxxxxxxx |
| From: |
meee on April 21, 2005 @ 5:31 pm |
| Comment: |
i hate hate hockey you sad fucks, try rimming if your so shit hot ,a BIG FUCK OFF ,ANYONE FANCY A FUCK WELL IF YOU DO THEN WHY NOT TRY FUCKIN YOURSELFS |
| From: |
read_exxoneration on April 28, 2005 @ 11:47 pm |
| Comment: |
*sings in his RCMP uniform* oh...canada....our home and native land.............. |
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