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Some Q&A about Canada from Americans
Posted by: CanadaRules on December 21, 2004 @ 9:40 am
Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow?
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street?
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks?
A: Sure, it’s only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada?
A: So its true what they say about bushes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver.
A: Let’s not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax?
A: What did your last slave die of ?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada?
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule?
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is....oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Add your own comment
| From: |
CanadianPatriot on December 29, 2004 @ 11:20 am |
| Comment: |
Stick it to them,man.....Americans are indeed retards if they ask such questions....GO CANADA |
| From: |
Proud Canadian on January 7, 2005 @ 9:59 pm |
| Comment: |
They r not Americans , they are Ameretards. That is our nickname for our dear neighbors. |
| From: |
Canada ROCKS! on January 18, 2005 @ 4:15 am |
| Comment: |
English Canadians actually love French Canadians. We appreciate the fact that it was their alliance with the HURON alone that founded our peaceful and beautiful nation. We welcome any Americans who wish to immigrate to our fine land, as we welcome persecuted people living under tyrannical and/or fascist, fundamentalist governments anywhere in the world.
Say what you will about us. Laugh at us. Sit back smugly making jokes about igloos and snowmobiles and bacon. We are Canadians. We understand the inherent strategic superiority in being underestimated. We are one people with many faces and cultures. God has kissed us, and we are blessed.
Peace to you all. When you are ready to live in freedom, tolerance, and simple kindness, we will embrace YOU, too.
Luc duBonet |
| From: |
Meggz on January 18, 2005 @ 8:52 am |
| Comment: |
I am currently away from Canada and have got a sudden burst of patrioticism! People from the US (Americans is the whole continent ...us, them, mexico...so on!...) think they know shit but their just too dumb...but what do we really know about them too...
Heres another dumb question ive heard:
Why are you candíans killing all the polar bears in Sask. ... like wtf...umm, its all plains...
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| From: |
That's Funny on February 1, 2005 @ 12:14 am |
| Comment: |
I love this joke. It’s very giggly-ha-ha. I’m almost doing the brown thing. I’m going to tell it to all my friends at school tomorrow. Boy, you guys sure swear a lot. I hope no Americans come to MY town. |
| From: |
Yank in Hawaii on February 2, 2005 @ 1:29 am |
| Comment: |
Awww... you made me feel so crappy about being an American, even if I am in the rogue state. Canada should steal Hawaii; the hawaiians would be happy, and yall could get a tan. |
| From: |
JO Canadian on February 7, 2005 @ 2:15 pm |
| Comment: |
only Two provinces where polar bears wander the streets. Churchill manitoba, and various resereves on the Quebec sides. Everywhere else it’s the territories, NWT and Nunavut. So next time anyone is walking home drunk in Holman, do avoid polarbears. (happened to me, not fun...) |
| From: |
CanadaRules on February 8, 2005 @ 5:01 am |
| Comment: |
It is true that Polar bears walk in Churchill but when you have a Remington M70 in the car they tend to leave you alone,Jo...and isnt Churchill a little too west to be in Manitoba?????lol just yanking your chain |
| From: |
Marc Tremblay on February 14, 2005 @ 11:49 pm |
| Comment: |
And I am proud to be a Canadian, even if I was born in Québec city and I had to fight all my friends that tried to convince me to vote for the separation of my province. OVER MY DEAD BODY ! and as for americans, I convinced one once that there were no railroads in Canada, the technology wasn’t available yet... But I drove a car down to Albany NY ;-p |
| From: |
some dude from nyc on February 18, 2005 @ 2:26 am |
| Comment: |
SO, TREMBLAY, BEING PROUD TO BE CANADIAN MEANS BASHING THE STATES, HUH? NO WONDER PEOPLE THINK BEING FRENCH CANADIAN IS GETTING THE SHORT END OF THE EVOLUTIONARY STICK TWICE. |
| From: |
brittany on March 8, 2005 @ 11:20 am |
| Comment: |
The french invented the frenchfry by sucking a canadian pecker! |
| From: |
Well, actually..... on March 13, 2005 @ 3:31 am |
| Comment: |
Well, actually, brittany ( I am assuming that you INTENTIONALLY left the capital letter off of your name even though I am likely giving you way too much credit ), the French (that’s supposed to be capitalized, too) didn’t invent French-fries by sucking a Canadian (Ooops, those pesky capitals! ) pecker. A Belgian invented them, and aren’t you GLAD? Without that nifty idea, what would you dip into your deep-fat fryer every morning, afternoon, and evening!? But listen, brittany, don’t you worry about that. You just slap a little more makeup on and pout and jiggle a bit. That’s a good girl. That’s a gooooooood girl. Have a French-fry. |
| From: |
DENNIS on March 29, 2005 @ 5:22 pm |
| Comment: |
HERRRRRRE’S DENNIS!!!
NOW LISTEN UP U FUCKIN AMERICAN PUNKS!
MY REAL NAME IS Micheal Librande. I LIVE IN Ottawa. U POOPY TERD LOSERS!!!
YOU EAT POOPIES. GO WIPE THE POOPIES OFF GRANNY N GRAMPS, ASSHOLES!!!
GO TAKE A SPONGEBATH WITH GREAT AUNT SUE AND OLD MR. JOHNSON!!
YOU HAVE TYPE 2 FECES ( THE WORST KIND, YOU FOOLS!!) (BTW- THERE’S 5 TYPES OF FECES U DUMBASSESS!!!) OH KOOM BAI AH!!!! I LOVE OLD MR. JOHNSON!! AS A LITTLE BOY I WORKED FOR HIM. I HAD MY FIRST INTIMATE ACT WITH HIM WHEN I WAS 13, hehehehe, IN ANY EVENT U.S.A. SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO CANADA!!!!!!!!!!! YAY FOR WONDERFUL CANUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DO ENJOY HOCKEY DEAR FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!! OH HOW I DO LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DR. PHIL IS MY GOOD DEAR FRIEND!!!!!!!! AMERICANS ARE ALL FAT AND STUPID AND THEY CAN’T EVEN LOCATE TURKMENISTAN ON A MAP!!!!!! IT’S IN SOUTHEAST ASIA, YOU DUMB FUCKS!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA FOOLS, I WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| From: |
Jamal on May 11, 2005 @ 7:09 am |
| Comment: |
Holy crap how could someone be this stupid?
How meny years of reserch did you need to come up with this huh?
Ignore that comment people, he’s just stupid... |
| From: |
Cajun on May 28, 2005 @ 12:40 am |
| Comment: |
Just for the record, I know where every state in the united states is by looking at lines on the map, plus most of Canada, and other parts of the globe.
The second q&a cracked me up. |
| From: |
Teacher on October 17, 2005 @ 4:18 pm |
| Comment: |
It’s unfortunate that they stopped teaching "spelling" in elementary school. Many of you who believe you are more intelligent than our American neighbours should have a dictionary close to your keyboard because you look pretty stupid too.
However, that does not detract from the fact that Americans generally act badly when in Canada because they are looking down their noses at us and that by and large they are really ignorant about our country, culture and weather.
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| From: |
yukonpete on October 31, 2005 @ 3:56 pm |
| Comment: |
I was born and raised in the Yukon and I can’t tell you how many Canadians I’ve met that don’t know that it is a part of Canada. The best question was when someone from Georgia asked, "Excuse me, son. What time do y’all turn your Northern Lights on?" I was 12 years old and couldn’t believe it. |
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