Prankers Paradise
Jokes
Submit
Moderator
Links
Contact
Drug Rehab
Halloween
|
| |
Things we[Canadians]are proud of
Posted by: CanadaRules on December 21, 2004 @ 9:45 am
Smarties.
Crispy Crunch.
Coffee Crisp.
The footballs and fields are bigger, and we have one less Down.
Lacrosse is Canadian.
Hockey is Canadian.
Basketball is Canadian.
The biggest flags ever seen/flown at any Olympics were Canadian... The second time it was smuggled in because they made a rule against it cause of the first time.
Mr. Dress-up can kick Mr. Rogers ass.
Much Music kicks MTV’s ass.
Maple syrup kicks Mrs. Butterworths ass (...don’t know about Aunt Jemima though).
Tim Horton’s kicks Dunkin Donuts ass.
Waaaay better beer commercials/contests and beer company give a ways. Example: the Molson Canadian House Party...where you get to keep the house. Trashed or not.
In the war of 1812, we pushed the Americans so far back... passed their ’White House’, burned it...and most of Washington. We got bored because they ran away so we came home and partied. Go figure.
Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
The largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war.
The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.
We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
The Hudson’s Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earths surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.
The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
The Canadian Civil War was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.
We don’t marry our kin-folk.
We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, the long distance and short wave radios that save countless lives each year. Oh yeah...and the handles on beer cases big enough to fit your hands with mitts on.
We can hum the tune to ’Definition’.
We all know that a scale that measures boiling water at 212 degrees and freezes at 32 is asinine.
We’ve ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.
We can out drink Americans in a heart beat!!
Our elections take only one day.
Pizza gets to your house faster than an ambulance
There are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
Drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
People order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a diet coke.
Banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counter.
We leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
We use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
We buy hot dogs in packages of 12 and buns in packages of 8.
We use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".
We have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
We are proud to be Canadian!
We’re awfully nice to strangers,
Our manners be our curse,
(We’re just to darn nice...)
It’s cool in many ways to be Canadian,
(It’s cool ’cause it’s cold up here,)
We won’t say that we’re better,
(No!)
It’s just that we’re less worse.
|
Add your own comment
| From: |
Proud Canadian on December 23, 2004 @ 4:50 pm |
| Comment: |
Well SAID!!!! North America would be a better place if it was ALL Canadian. |
| From: |
Canada Rox! on December 28, 2004 @ 5:12 pm |
| Comment: |
Canada Rocks, awesome way to say it! |
| From: |
CanadaRules on December 29, 2004 @ 6:36 am |
| Comment: |
A must website for all Canadian patriots who love Canada and want Canada to rule the whole world[USA especially]
http://www.imperialism.ca/main_en.html |
| From: |
JO Canadian on December 29, 2004 @ 5:32 pm |
| Comment: |
Cute website man, I’m wondering how many from u-know-where will actually take it seriously. |
| From: |
Blame Canada? on January 11, 2005 @ 10:54 pm |
| Comment: |
You guys with negative comments, Check you family tree bet you have a Canadian in you heritage. How much do you pay for health insurance, in Canada we pay it with our taxes. As for being better at sports Lets play I’ll wipe the floor with you in any sport . SO IF YOU HAVEN’T GOT THE HINT YET SUCK IT!!! |
| From: |
crazy canuck on January 12, 2005 @ 9:50 pm |
| Comment: |
Canada has the best player in NBA , Mr . Steve Nash!!! |
| From: |
jonny! on January 13, 2005 @ 4:48 pm |
| Comment: |
suck another dick! u critesizers!
canada kicks more ass then n e body!
p.s. bring back the hockey, for the molson canadiens! |
| From: |
CanadaRules on January 18, 2005 @ 4:36 am |
| Comment: |
HELLO,CANADA INVENTED BASKETBALL...WELL,ONE OF OUR CONPATRIOTS...SO,AMERICANS...SHUSH |
| From: |
Rock On Canada on January 18, 2005 @ 6:20 pm |
| Comment: |
firs of all i’d like to add you americans are quite arrogant! We have a right to be proud for living in a nation whre most people are cnsidered kind! Where we are full of diverse cultres! And may I dd our hockey teams kick your ASS! We can say eh! We say zed insted of ZEE! We probably know more about your politics then you adn most americans still think we live in igloos! We did no go to war which says somethn else! So all i have to say is great for amrica BUT CANADA RULES! |
| From: |
Captain America on January 31, 2005 @ 7:23 pm |
| Comment: |
You Beaver F#ckers! Lacrosse is not Canadian.
Is was created by Native American Indian.
Take the cross out of your ass before you put up a list like this |
| From: |
Admiral Canada on February 1, 2005 @ 12:10 am |
| Comment: |
"Take the cross out of your ass"? Huh? Wha? Eh?
What the hell is he talking about? Cross? Ass? Is this something to do with LaCrosse, the Canadian National Sport? Cross?
Huh?
Wha? |
| From: |
JO Canadian on February 1, 2005 @ 8:20 am |
| Comment: |
Lacrosse was played by the natives Before there was a canada and a usa El Capitano,
In fact it was played most with the Mohawk People, and if, and I mean if...If you ever looked at a history book you’ll notice that the demographics of the mohawks was mostly in the NORTHERN portion of north america...guess where that is pussnuts. So who cares, it was north america when it was created. Not to be used as a "well we made this..." excuse. |
| From: |
one boob on February 6, 2005 @ 2:30 am |
| Comment: |
Americans tool Canadians in Football so there we’re not good at everything, we gotta great team but we have 6 teams in the NHL which did exist. Our involvement in the NBA is quite sad as well. We are not nice multicultural people: We are only nice to those who choose to conform to our white socialist ideals and thus not multicultural seeing as all our PMs have been white and we assimilate every big wave of immigrants and send the refugees to slums and put them in poor schools so they can stay there.
|
| From: |
one boob on February 6, 2005 @ 2:32 am |
| Comment: |
Now I will correct portions of the original list: bigger football fileds and more overweight fat asses that can’t make it across anyway, and Canada doesn’t even care about football so why is it on the list:
Most of Much Music’s shows are bought from MTV.
In the war of 1812 the americans (a country no more than 30 years of age) were fighting France, Britain and natives - France and Britain being superpowers at the time. The British pushed the americans back (Canada was non-existent)...we credit ourselves with victories in which most of our fights were done by other countries (remind you of the French?)
|
| From: |
one boob on February 6, 2005 @ 2:32 am |
| Comment: |
We have the largest French population that didn’t surrender to Germany because they were all to cowardly to go and defend their ancestors. The French Canadians had actually cut their ties to Europe.
We never had a civil war
America has Wal-mart which is a hell of a lot bigger than the Bay is.
We may not marry oour kin folk but we marry our own gender
We finish an election in one night because hardly anyone comes out
We do stupid things and are proud of it and call ourselves not ignorant and intelligent
As displayed in previous comments we do say we are the best.
The telephone was invented in America
|
| From: |
Somehow on February 6, 2005 @ 3:00 pm |
| Comment: |
I don’t think "not having a civil war" in our history is something to be ashamed of. I don’t shop at either Wal-mart or the Bay. You’re RIGHT (in oh-so-many-ways) that we don’t marry our kin-folk. In fact, the new legislation allowing same-sex marriage contains a clause preventing just THAT. Elections are good to have. I’ve done many stupid things in my day, yes. The telephone WAS invented in America, but really, I couldn’t care less as long as I have one! I also don’t care that basketball was a Canadian invention, as long as I can play it. Oh, and jacuzzis were invented in Turkey, but I don’t care about that either as long as I can relax in one.
Being the "best" does not preoccupy the minds of Canadians.
Everyone has a soul. |
| From: |
one boob on February 7, 2005 @ 7:39 pm |
| Comment: |
Though war is not a good thing, the fact that the americans had to fight for their freedom is a huge factor to their increased nationalism.
If you closely follow the news you will have also heard that some people have mentioned the possibility of multiple spouses. And though this is not our kin-folk it does take us back to a time in the BC years where we would marry many (King Solomon 1 000 wives) and have sex with our relatives (The Noah Clan).
|
| From: |
soapopera on February 23, 2005 @ 8:08 am |
| Comment: |
Where can you find American Jokes? Not here, but try:
http://forum.gazeta.pl/forum/72,2.html?f=384&w=20885243&a=20885243
and have a good fun out of Americans ;o) |
| From: |
Stephanie on February 28, 2005 @ 8:40 pm |
| Comment: |
Today i saw a site made by well (to be nice) the site was made by a more stupid american and it said that canadians are stupid and that we always sey "eh?" thats not exactly true EH????? Americans are quite embarassing to the world and notice how in school canadians learn alot more about how stupid amreicans are than how they learn how brilliant canadians are!!!!!!!:D
LONG LIVE CANADA!!!!!!!!!:d |
| From: |
Brittany on March 8, 2005 @ 7:55 pm |
| Comment: |
YEP canadians learn about america to learn whats good?.........if not why waste your time then?...........If it wasnt for americans, canadians will still be ICE FISHING from a straw hut ! |
| From: |
The Tragic Flaw..... on March 13, 2005 @ 3:21 am |
| Comment: |
The tragic flaw in your point (which isn’t really a point, but which is actually just the sad sad rantings of someone named after a sloppy whore pop-star) is that Canadians NEVER DID ice-fish from a STRAW HUT. Therefore, they certainly would not STILL be doing something that they never did in the first place. Thank you for your attention. I think the deep-fat fryer is boiling over, so you better run along and dip some carbohydrate - laden treat into it. |
| From: |
samantha on March 29, 2005 @ 8:25 pm |
| Comment: |
I think that you should all get better information to actually help us with what we are trying to find thankies buh bye |
| From: |
takingthepiss on April 15, 2005 @ 1:09 pm |
| Comment: |
I live in Canada and it is really nothing to be proud of. It just happens to be the worlds largest indian reservation...so maybe we shouldn’t expect too much |
| From: |
Jamal on May 11, 2005 @ 12:29 pm |
| Comment: |
Ok one boob, I now can say that you do not deserve to live in Canada. You think that you’re so smart on politics, listening to everything the media says. First off, It was just Jean and not Paul who was in the sponsership scandal, get your facts straight. Secondly, Harper seems to want to waste more of Canada’s money for a new election which most Canadians don’t want, which might tell us that he wants to run the country rather the help it. Dennouncing same sex marrage is hardly a crime, I don’t agree in it myself but I also don’t agree in killing eachother over one friggen word.
Harper brainwashed you, you should stop talking or it will spread. No one likes a morbid bastard, I can say that you are truly not a Canadian in heart. |
| From: |
¿ on May 16, 2005 @ 9:04 am |
| Comment: |
"basketball was invented in the US, by a canadian who couldnt stand living in that shit
country any longer"
Basketball was actually invented in Canada, and played for the first time in the united states. |
| From: |
Cajun on May 28, 2005 @ 12:29 am |
| Comment: |
Doesnt this only work if you take a list from every country, then also list how long they have been that country, then figure up?
ooh and I bet I could out drink you! I could br wrong but I am always up to the challenge lol |
| From: |
Teh_Canadian on September 16, 2005 @ 12:20 pm |
| Comment: |
GOD BLESS CANADA!!! |
| From: |
oh brother! on September 26, 2005 @ 1:25 pm |
| Comment: |
This site is for Canadians ok? It’s for Canadians to laugh at ourselves. I laughed at a lot of things on the list because I know it’s a joke.
Which is the difference between Canadians and Americans, we CAN and do like to laugh at ourselves. We don’t take ourselves too seriously! We like our quirks! It’s funny to us!
Americans take themselves soooooo seriously and immediately go on the attack especially against Canadians, who they seem threatened by in some way.
And they get nasty! It’s typical and unnecessary! This site was never meant for mudslinging or vindictiveness. Which sadly is another American trait. And those Canadians who want to be Americans because they don’t have the spirit our country (while far from perfect) still tries to engender, probably don’t belong here!
I’ve said my peace........... |
| From: |
Canadian on October 3, 2005 @ 4:19 pm |
| Comment: |
Alexander Grand Bell invented the teleophone, and I believe it was in Nova Scotia |
| From: |
... on October 17, 2005 @ 4:16 pm |
| Comment: |
CAN’t believe u are such igjnorant
TELEPHONE WAS invented in canada by a canadian person
French CANADIANS are proud to live in CANADA, a part of urself is still in France. I am quebecor so i think i know more things than u AMErIcaNS think |
|
|
