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Kristen the Cananadian girl
Posted by: CanadaRules on January 21, 2005 @ 9:51 am
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.
Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I am not an American."
"Then", asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"I’m a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian. "Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I’m a Canadian too."
The teacher is now angry. "That’s no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I’d be an American."
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Add your own comment
| From: |
REALITY CHECK on January 27, 2005 @ 5:16 pm |
| Comment: |
we’ve had many American visitors posting in the comments section. Almost all of them demonstrate
1. A near total lack of ability to laugh at themselves
2. An unprecedented level of aggression
3. An astounding inability to see beyond the obvious.
4. A lack of individual opinion
5. The inability to relate to & empathise with the world around them.
Now. Give that list to the average psychiatrist and they would recognise most of the signs of psychopathy. Give it to a historian and they would tell you it was a perfect description of the average Nazi. Perhaps that’s the same thing
It’s ironic that the three political entities which have used the eagle for their national symbol should be Rome, Nazi Germany, and the United States. Perhaps the similarities between the average American and the average Nazi are not that unsurprising
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| From: |
JO Canadian on January 27, 2005 @ 5:21 pm |
| Comment: |
Perhaps... |
| From: |
Canada ROCKS! on January 30, 2005 @ 9:00 am |
| Comment: |
Oh my God. That is a brilliant analysis. The thing about the eagle is very insightful. What a perfect symbol for the horrors the world is facing right now. I think that it is also very telling that the tsunami disaster has had less of a reaction from people than the September 11 tragedy. While both are undoubtedly tragic, the tsunami has claimed TWENTY TIMES as many victims. And yet we see little being done to ensure that preparations to react to such a catastrophe are put in place. There is so much that we could do to prepare for future tsunamis or earthquakes.
I wonder: if the tsunami had hit the US, would the Americans begin a "war on natural disaster"? War War War War War. If I had to live with that mentality, I’d jump off the nearest bridge. What an exhausting and miserable national culture.
Here’s a thought. How about a "war on racism"? There’s a war they REALLY need to wage.
Spend your money in Canada and support our links to European markets! Peace! |
| From: |
JO Canadian on January 31, 2005 @ 8:25 am |
| Comment: |
Right now they’re more interested in a war on critisism. |
| From: |
CanadaRules on January 31, 2005 @ 9:38 am |
| Comment: |
Jo,you see that...I say a Monty Pyton line to Dezz and he gets pissed off...Americans,take everything personally... |
| From: |
VOLSON on February 1, 2005 @ 11:06 pm |
| Comment: |
Eh? I dont know who is worse, Polacks or Canadians. |
| From: |
JO Canadian on February 3, 2005 @ 8:08 am |
| Comment: |
I’ll wager it was those Eeeeevil Polacks.
Not us. Nope, nothing to hide here....... |
| From: |
Sucked off by dezz on February 4, 2005 @ 9:35 pm |
| Comment: |
Oh, by the way, good joke. |
| From: |
one boob on February 5, 2005 @ 4:35 pm |
| Comment: |
Though I am a canadian I’ve lately been very irritated with the ignorant and naive state of most Canadians. We have some retard talking about our great european ties. Maybe you’re forgetting in the 30’s PM King declared America the country they most wish to trade with. This way we would get out of the British Empire. But now you retards jsut want back in, you’re like the French running in circles contradicting yourselves and accusing Americans of all the misery the world is experiencing. Canadians, Frenchies, Americans and more are all very ignorant folk. We accuse americans of being arrogant cuz they think they own the world. reality is... they do. Canada depends on the states. If we were cut off (which I think Bush should do for a little while so that we would realize how fortunate we are) we would just die off. That’s why we are referred to as the 51st state. |
| From: |
one boob on February 5, 2005 @ 4:37 pm |
| Comment: |
9/11 was unfortunate and we all sent blood and money. the Tsunami was unfotunate and we all sent blood and money. 100 times as many people as died in the Tsunami have died from AIDS in Zambia and Canadians ignorantly give very little and then accuse Americans of being stubborn. |
| From: |
one boob on February 5, 2005 @ 4:38 pm |
| Comment: |
Trudeau in all his wisdom cut off our military spending by 20% in the 70’s so now we fully rely on America. If we get attacked (which we should in some form, seeing as we think we are invincible hiding behind the US and Britain) we would sit and watch America fight our war. I find most of the people posting patriotic canadian stuff are stupid 13 year old kids who just play hockey and believe everything they are taught in school. We make our national pride off not being officially american. We ARE AMERICANS JUST WITHOUT ANY MONEY AND WE SUPPORT LAZY BASTARDS ON WELFARE (course some of our welfare people need it but many don’t). |
| From: |
one boob on February 5, 2005 @ 4:39 pm |
| Comment: |
We accuse the states of racism, in the beginning of the 20th Century we set up residential school for the natives to assimilate them like the rest of the white culture - you racist, hypocritical, naive bastards. The eagle is a sign of power and freedom because it soars high freely. That’s why it’s referred to often in the Bible. The americans and Germans adopted this because of its symbolism. There is no connection to the Nazis and Americans based on the eagle. |
| From: |
one boob on February 5, 2005 @ 4:40 pm |
| Comment: |
History repeats itself yes, we are currently all inside the American Empire. This empire will die away soon probably within the next century at least. Just as the Roman, Egyptian, Greek, French, British, German, Babylonian and many more empires did. When it dies off not only will the americans fall down into the pits but the Canadians even further. Why? because americans have motivation. With capitalism the only thing which will get you rich is motivation. In canada you just have to complain and you will get a few bucks, but you won’t get rich. Canadians don’t have motivation to get rich or change their government. Ther have numerous protests in America (people with motivation) where as Canadian protests are simply bar room discussions. To my fellow Canadians, either shut the hell up or do something. Don’t complain about America on a web site. |
| From: |
one boob on February 5, 2005 @ 4:48 pm |
| Comment: |
And why shouldn’t americans take those jokes by senseless canadian personally. They fought wars and many people died for the freedom they enjoy. We signed a cuople forms. |
| From: |
one boob on February 7, 2005 @ 7:29 pm |
| Comment: |
one boob is obviously exactly what?
Though I would have thought China to be the next super power I read an article from this History prof from Stanford saying China was soon to enter an economic crisis and that the world would enter an anarchial state (much similar to the Medieval era). However, I’ve discussed it with others and they disagree, but who cares whose next, lets just hold on as long as we can. |
| From: |
some dude from nyc on February 7, 2005 @ 10:07 pm |
| Comment: |
i find it interesting that of the ten "canadian" jokes posted on this sight, at least seven of them involve america or americans being ignorant. why is that? just a thought. |
| From: |
some dude from nyc on February 7, 2005 @ 10:16 pm |
| Comment: |
allow me to edit...there are fifty "canadian" jokes on this sight and more that 80% of them feature america or americans. the truth is, canadians have a gigantic self-esteem issue and a huge identity crisis. y’all can’t go ten seconds without bitching about us when we could go our whole lives without giving a second thought to you or your country. and that pisses you off to no end. |
| From: |
some dude from nyc on February 7, 2005 @ 10:21 pm |
| Comment: |
and the same goes for the rest of the world. y’all are like the new jersey of countries. no one cares about you or knows where you are. and canadians and jerseyites are constantly trying to tell the world how great they are compared to the states and, in jersey’s case, new york. face it, you’re irrelevant. IRRELEVANT. you’re left to rant and rave on useless joke websites while the real world spins by, leaving you crying into your toques, with no stanley cup in the last eleven years. yeah, like the canada cup means anything. losers. |
| From: |
some dude from nyc on February 7, 2005 @ 10:23 pm |
| Comment: |
and don’t even get me started on y’all slapping that ridiculous flag on your backpacks so that, "no one mistakes me for an american". some national pride. |
| From: |
CanadaRules on February 8, 2005 @ 5:14 am |
| Comment: |
Hey,some dude in nyc
1.We kicked your ass in 1812 so shut up
2.I fart in your general direction
Thank you,that is all |
| From: |
one boob on February 8, 2005 @ 8:11 pm |
| Comment: |
War of 1812 ended in a cease fire not a surrender. Everyone lost tards. The only American defeat (and it still is only technically a defeat) is Vietnam. Where people protested enough that Johnson withdrew. They were in a deadlock there but they actually weren’t losing just not gaining (militarilly that is) but socially losing.
Canadians are actually jealous that Americans tend to "prosper" and because they are little girls and like to hide their feelings they just say they are better than the states. |
| From: |
JO Canadian on February 10, 2005 @ 9:35 am |
| Comment: |
Damn, My shitty computer @ work won’t let me play them. |
| From: |
some dude from nyc on February 10, 2005 @ 10:23 pm |
| Comment: |
as just a plain old dumbass moron, i’d like to point out that more than 50,000,000 million people didn’t vote for bush. not that that should get in the way of you simpletons busting on the states. who is it again that runs your barren wasteland of a shithole? is it still the queen? camilla parker bowles? corey hart? whoever sits in the white house? my point being...NO ONE KNOWS AND NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.
i thank you for your time. |
| From: |
JO Canadian on February 11, 2005 @ 9:42 am |
| Comment: |
Camilla Bowles!!!...GAK! Her Equine features on our money would drop our currency rate down below the peso!! I Believe that’s all the royalty does for canada now, is show up on our money. We actually get to vote for a prime minister to run our country into the ground. How’s that for a change? |
| From: |
DanTheCanadian on February 14, 2005 @ 4:18 am |
| Comment: |
OK,Camilla...say...is that bitch really going to be our queen...and Jo,forget the peso..our dollar will fall below the Iraqi currency lol at least he could have married someone cool like uuuudonuunnow maybe anybody but here lol..lets get quit of the queen and Phil the thief Martin... |
| From: |
one boob on February 14, 2005 @ 6:01 pm |
| Comment: |
Phil Martin? Anyway I agree we should ditch our phony PM PAUL Martin because he does not represent the majority of Canadians decisions and decides to support same sex marriage while most Canadians oppose it. We need democratic people not ditators like the Liberals who lie and steal from their people. We waste our money on the queen too which is why the economy is so bad. The Royal Family is like Paris HIlton, they don’t do shit but they are wealthier than our whole country. |
| From: |
DanTheCanadian on February 18, 2005 @ 9:28 am |
| Comment: |
Hey,one boob I did think of Paul Martin but have a buddy and his name is Phil Martin lol always confuse those two cause they both steal from me lol |
| From: |
DanTheCanadian on February 18, 2005 @ 9:31 am |
| Comment: |
One boob,was tired and sick when I wrote Phil Martin lol but you knew who I meant.Anywho,agree that those liberal turds dont represent me..but I voted from NDP and if you want to judge,judge...I dont care,I dont vote in a popularity contest but in National elections |
| From: |
heyah on February 23, 2005 @ 8:06 am |
| Comment: |
Where can you find American Jokes? Not here, but try:
http://forum.gazeta.pl/forum/72,2.html?f=384&w=20885243&a=20885243
and have a good fun out of Americans ;o) |
| From: |
BJK on February 23, 2005 @ 9:38 pm |
| Comment: |
Hey one boob
It wasnt Johnson who got us out of Vietnam it was my hero Richard Nixon. It was that Moron Kenedy who got us in there in the first place....again a Republican cleaning up the shit caused by a Democrat......not that Clinton caused the first WTC attack in 1993...but he did next to nothing to make sure it could not happen again. Therefore George W. Bush Is cleaning up his mess. If that means bringing down the governments that support terrorist then so be it. Yes Saddam Husein paid the families of Palastinian suicide bombers 25,000 dollars for killing Isrealis and Americans, Remember right after the attacks of 9-11 You are either with us or against us???? Saddam Husein was against us and praised the hi jackers of those planes. Remember when in 1996 Husein expeled the U.N. inspectors???? We should have took him out then but, Slick Willy was to busy turning monica Lewinski into a human humidor. |
| From: |
one boob on February 26, 2005 @ 12:13 am |
| Comment: |
What, are you implying that I am a left-winger? |
| From: |
DENNIS on March 29, 2005 @ 5:23 pm |
| Comment: |
HERRRRRRE’S DENNIS!!!
NOW LISTEN UP U FUCKIN AMERICAN PUNKS!
MY REAL NAME IS Micheal Librande. I LIVE IN Ottawa. U POOPY TERD LOSERS!!!
YOU EAT POOPIES. GO WIPE THE POOPIES OFF GRANNY N GRAMPS, ASSHOLES!!!
GO TAKE A SPONGEBATH WITH GREAT AUNT SUE AND OLD MR. JOHNSON!!
YOU HAVE TYPE 2 FECES ( THE WORST KIND, YOU FOOLS!!) (BTW- THERE’S 5 TYPES OF FECES U DUMBASSESS!!!) OH KOOM BAI AH!!!! I LOVE OLD MR. JOHNSON!! AS A LITTLE BOY I WORKED FOR HIM. I HAD MY FIRST INTIMATE ACT WITH HIM WHEN I WAS 13, hehehehe, IN ANY EVENT U.S.A. SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO CANADA!!!!!!!!!!! YAY FOR WONDERFUL CANUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DO ENJOY HOCKEY DEAR FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!! OH HOW I DO LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DR. PHIL IS MY GOOD DEAR FRIEND!!!!!!!! AMERICANS ARE ALL FAT AND STUPID AND THEY CAN’T EVEN LOCATE TURKMENISTAN ON A MAP!!!!!! IT’S IN SOUTHEAST ASIA, YOU DUMB FUCKS!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA FOOLS, I WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| From: |
CanadaRules on March 30, 2005 @ 5:36 am |
| Comment: |
"Non-cents," said Paul Martin, Canada’s minister of finance. "Canadian coins, although similar in size and shape, made from the same metals, and are minted in the same denominations, are distinct from their American counterparts. It’s not even feasible to think that one currency can compare to the other. They’re very distinct. It makes no cents at all." United States are Canada’s bitches
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| From: |
Fart Face 2 U 2 on April 2, 2005 @ 9:08 am |
| Comment: |
Dennis just repeats the same stuff over & over on different sites, wow what a 1celled life? |
| From: |
one boob on April 3, 2005 @ 12:03 am |
| Comment: |
CanadaRules, your conclusion does not even remotely relate to your argument, and it is incorrect as well - ever heard of the 51st State? It’s big, cold and filled with stupid, arrogant whiners that think they can out-drink the world (they’ve never been to Europe). |
| From: |
¿ on May 31, 2005 @ 8:32 am |
| Comment: |
Your all being fucking rediculous. Living in a free country is just saying we have the freedom of speach, and to have our own opinion, and in this chat, your all saying we should all think the same. You can have your opinions, and I can have mine, and if we disagree, then who gives a fuck? If every body thought like George Bush, we would have a never ending war, and if everybody thought like Paul Martin, we would all be stupid fucks. As far as America taking Canada in a war, you say you could, but it wouldn’t happen to begin with, if the USA attacked Canada, the UN would have our back, just the same as in Canada attacked USA, the UN would your USA’s back. As for intelligance levels, there are stupid Americans, just as there are stupid Canadians, just as there are stupid Asians, Europians, and Africans, but I’m not going to point fingers, and assume that everyone in a country is stupid. You all need to wake up. |
| From: |
... on October 17, 2005 @ 4:16 pm |
| Comment: |
this jock sucks....the original real joke is about hockey teams and its funnier the other way ...i’m a canadian tho but this...this is too idiot |
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