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3 Hockey fans
Posted by: CanadaRules on January 31, 2005 @ 6:45 am
A Canadian hockey fan, an American fan and a Swedish fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of alcohol. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the alcohol, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It’s my first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The Swede fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Swede fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.
The American fan was next up (he almost finished a half-can), and after watching the scene, said: "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the American fan crying.
The Canadian fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You support the greatest team in the world, your country has the best and most loyal hockey fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thanks, your most Royal highness", the Canadian replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks.
"Tie the American fan to my back so he can get his ass whooped again."
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Add your own comment
| From: |
scruff on February 1, 2005 @ 11:13 am |
| Comment: |
ok joke I geuss. Great ending. I’m sick of up tight americans that think their country is the best so they go pushing their weight around. Should have tied them all to the canadians back. By the way California start paying your fucking hydro bill and stop leaching of B.C. P.S. your shit stinks like everyone els’. |
| From: |
scruff on February 1, 2005 @ 11:13 am |
| Comment: |
ok joke I geuss. Great ending. I’m sick of up tight americans that think their country is the best so they go pushing their weight around. Should have tied them all to the canadians back. By the way California start paying your fucking hydro bill and stop leaching of B.C. P.S. your shit stinks like everyone els’. |
| From: |
OK on February 1, 2005 @ 4:07 pm |
| Comment: |
OK first of all, there are lots of canadians who wear wristwatches and B: lots of canadians are men with strong square wrists. So fourthly, why not just get all those men together to do push-ups with only their wristwatches on and see who has the best. And last but not least it is a great site with great jokes but not enough wristwatch jokes |
| From: |
American on February 1, 2005 @ 11:05 pm |
| Comment: |
I want to move to Canada.
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| From: |
Canadian jokes on February 2, 2005 @ 9:08 am |
| Comment: |
A beefy Canadian man at a bar sat next to a very hot Canadian dude.
He gives him a glance, then casually checks his watch.
Hot guy notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it."
The intrigued fellow says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?"
"It can telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"What’s it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you’re not wearing a leather jockstrap…"
Hot guy chuckles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing a hot jock!"
The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
"Maybe I should lick that shiny puppy for you."
"Well, sure, but wouldn’t that make the hair on my wrists a little moist?" he answered.
"Maybe, but that would look slick with that hot timepiece, right?"
So he tasted that delicious wristwatch. then they traded watches.
Then each one took a taste and traded back again to prepare. |
| From: |
Jersey Guy on March 14, 2005 @ 12:26 pm |
| Comment: |
not everyone in the US is arrogant, self centered pricks who think they are better than everyone else... its just us who know we ARE better than everyone else lol |
| From: |
¿ on May 18, 2005 @ 11:45 am |
| Comment: |
I don’t get why the fuck you all argue about which country is better anyways. Canada and USA are brothers, and if your not on this bs site, you never worry about which is better because it’s not a major part of your life. grow up... |
| From: |
european neighbour on October 14, 2005 @ 7:27 pm |
| Comment: |
I read all of the jokes and I can’t believe the hate between americans and canadians is that big...booth of them are stupid and inconsciant... |
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