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In the Beginning
Posted by: Crikey on June 15, 2005 @ 6:42 am
God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald’s. And McDonald’s brought forth the cheap double cheeseburger.
And Satan said to Man, "You want chips with that?"
And Man said, "Large packet please."
And Man gained kilograms.
And God created the healthful yoghurt, that Woman might keep her figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan froze the yoghurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly coloured sprinkle stuff to put on top. And Woman gained kilograms.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese. And there was ice cream for dessert. And Woman gained kilograms.
And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth spare ribs, so big they filled the plate. And Man gained kilograms, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those kilograms.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between Fox and CNN. And Man gained kilograms.
And God said, "You’re running up the score, Devil."
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in fat. And he created sour cream dip also. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.
And Satan saw and said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And Satan created Medical Insurance.
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Add your own comment
| From: |
snowflakewd on June 23, 2005 @ 10:14 pm |
| Comment: |
bert is a fucking moron |
| From: |
Raka Patel on June 27, 2005 @ 1:42 pm |
| Comment: |
YOURE ALL SO PALE WHITE MILKERS,WHEN U WERE IN A CAR PARK, ORGON JUMPED OUTTA HIS VEHICLE WITH THE REST OF THE GHOSTBUSHERS AND SED
"Lets zap these motherfuckers". |
| From: |
bossco b on June 29, 2005 @ 11:41 am |
| Comment: |
scotland is the best
|
| From: |
bossco b on July 1, 2005 @ 9:48 am |
| Comment: |
yes it is because its got the best football team in the world the mighty glasgow ranges
where r u from?
|
| From: |
bossco b on July 1, 2005 @ 10:07 am |
| Comment: |
ppl from wales r all sheep shagers. glasgow rangers r da best. |
| From: |
bossco b on July 4, 2005 @ 11:49 am |
| Comment: |
yep rangers fans r huns and celtic or smelly tims. alot of player that play for leicester r from the spl. |
| From: |
bossco b on July 4, 2005 @ 12:00 pm |
| Comment: |
celtic r sucky tims
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| From: |
WiseRedHedgehog on July 5, 2005 @ 3:31 pm |
| Comment: |
And that’s exactly how fat Hamericans were created. |
| From: |
WiseRedHedgehog on July 5, 2005 @ 3:31 pm |
| Comment: |
And that’s exactly how fat Hamericans were created. |
| From: |
jdawg on September 23, 2005 @ 4:06 pm |
| Comment: |
in the beginning there was the end |
| From: |
jdawg on September 23, 2005 @ 4:06 pm |
| Comment: |
i dont kill stupid people like raka......cuz they r stupid enough to do it themselves....oh well
do the world a favor.....just dont be a total loser and succeed when u do that |
| From: |
Justin Flames. on September 23, 2005 @ 4:09 pm |
| Comment: |
have u noticed how theyve deleted my comments from b4 when i was talkin to bossco.
STRANGE! |
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