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HOSE
Posted by: Snuffnpuff on September 3, 2004 @ 6:49 pm
| Q: Why do firefighters have clean assholes? A: Shit, you would too if you stuck one of those hoses up there! |
Add your own comment
| From: |
kissmywhiteassTY on October 31, 2004 @ 8:01 pm |
| Comment: |
dude.. after 911, mocking a fireman takes some real balls. thumbs down bigtime. also... the ""joke"" wasn’t even the least bit funny, dude!!! |
| From: |
buffalobob on November 2, 2004 @ 12:17 pm |
| Comment: |
that is stupid |
| From: |
firefighter on November 3, 2004 @ 4:50 pm |
| Comment: |
ass |
| From: |
kayla on November 5, 2004 @ 4:38 pm |
| Comment: |
my mom is a firefighter you asshole. fuck you
|
| From: |
yvi on November 5, 2004 @ 4:40 pm |
| Comment: |
my mom died while fighting a fire. FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. i hope you fuckin burn in hell |
| From: |
jrjr on November 9, 2004 @ 10:25 pm |
| Comment: |
FUCK YOU |
| From: |
yo mammy boy on November 11, 2004 @ 5:45 pm |
| Comment: |
you are a 12 year old prepubesent little girl |
| From: |
Dude on November 13, 2004 @ 12:08 am |
| Comment: |
How would you like us to stick that hose up your ass moron |
| From: |
Doomfest23 on November 16, 2004 @ 12:13 pm |
| Comment: |
why the hell would firefighters stick a giant hose up their ass?!? only you are fuckin
retarded enough to do something like that! |
| From: |
Firefighter(Bridget) on November 16, 2004 @ 4:53 pm |
| Comment: |
from deming
yere stupid you couldn’t even be able to keep up with us firemen (women) if you tried
think of a joke that makes sence. duh.!!!! |
| From: |
Firefighter5100 on November 18, 2004 @ 1:47 am |
| Comment: |
I would love to see you be on shift for 24 hours and be able to keep up with us (firefighter). Its not like we just sit around, you need to grow up and respect people who risk there lives for people like you. People who are to afriad to do the job that i do and love. Go fuck your self dip shit |
| From: |
Engine Co. 37 on December 10, 2004 @ 4:41 pm |
| Comment: |
Well, that was definately uncalled for and tasteless. Firefighters put their lives on the line on a daily basis and what do you do? Ridicule them. This definately shows what kind of a person you are and how little character you have. These are people who have died and risked life and limb just to help others. Men and women who devote their life to save others with no reguard for their own. You wouldnt last 5 minutes in a burning structure, or drag the (dreaded) dummy 5 feet. Probably couldnt hold your composure while doing CPR on a heart attack patient with their family standing above you crying and screaming for your help and still have a 15 minute ambulance ride to a hospital. On behalf of all firefighters everywhere, I hope you burn in hell or your own catches fire and you are found afterwards hidden, and dismembered. |
| From: |
Firefightergirl1983 on December 26, 2004 @ 3:21 pm |
| Comment: |
That was pretty bad. After 9/11 you should feel ashamed of yourself. I hope you remember that joke when your house is on fire or you get in a carwreck and need a fire department to pull you out of your mangled car. Firefighters work hard everyday and carry there work home with them and never ask for anything in return. |
| From: |
wolf on December 26, 2004 @ 6:37 pm |
| Comment: |
unfunny coward. |
| From: |
firefighter101 on January 9, 2005 @ 9:59 am |
| Comment: |
I guess you dont realize what firefighters do. On september 11th we lost 343 of our brothers and lose them everyday in the line of duty. Of course you dont know what this feels like..let me tell you..its like losing your actual brother..only 343 times! Even volunteer firemen do as much training as paid firemen...only...they do their job out of the goodness of their hearts. NExt time thing before you speak bud. |
| From: |
firefighter4100 on February 2, 2005 @ 12:55 am |
| Comment: |
Heres the problem your confused about everything..... You dont understand what myself and brothers & sisters do out there in the heat of the moment.... Lookin at all these comments it tells me that your a piece of crap bud and need to get a life. |
| From: |
Screw you on February 2, 2005 @ 1:08 pm |
| Comment: |
Hey man screw you this joke isn’t even funny my friend is a firefighter and i’ll bet he would kick your ass if he found you, FUCK YOU |
| From: |
Screw you on February 2, 2005 @ 1:08 pm |
| Comment: |
Hey man screw you this joke isn’t even funny my friend is a firefighter and i’ll bet he would kick your ass if he found you, FUCK YOU |
| From: |
xczxcsdfsd on February 5, 2005 @ 7:44 pm |
| Comment: |
it was fucking hilarious |
| From: |
stacy on February 13, 2005 @ 1:05 am |
| Comment: |
c’mon really after 9-11 you have some balls to say something like that, thats not funny i hope you die in a fucking fire cause aint no firefighter gonna save your ass |
| From: |
still laughing.... on February 15, 2005 @ 3:15 pm |
| Comment: |
that was a really funny joke. All those negative comments can only be from firefighters with dirty assholes ! |
| From: |
FERNANDO on February 16, 2005 @ 7:09 pm |
| Comment: |
MAN!!! CANT ALL YOU JUST TAKE A JOKE! WHY MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT SOME STUPID JOKE! (not that stupid) |
| From: |
futurefirefighter on February 17, 2005 @ 12:04 pm |
| Comment: |
man you suck thats awfull i hope your very happy and content with yourself thats just wrong i want to become fire"wo"man and what do you think it tells us when we read crap like this it okay to joke but not like this!!! HHS Sr 2007 |
| From: |
futurefirefighter on February 17, 2005 @ 12:05 pm |
| Comment: |
man you suck thats awfull i hope your very happy and content with yourself thats just wrong i want to become fire"wo"man and what do you think it tells us when we read crap like this it okay to joke but not like this!!! HHS Sr 2007 |
| From: |
CW Fire Explorer on February 18, 2005 @ 9:13 pm |
| Comment: |
I don’t understand how or why anyone would think of something like that. There must be something wrong in your head. What I don’t get is no matter how demented you are; how could you sit down and think something so stupid, is funny. I know there are a lot of stereotypes about firefighters but I have been around enough of them to realize that alot of it isn’t true. If you actually knew what they put up with, I know you would have never made that joke up. |
| From: |
LAFD TRUCKIE on February 23, 2005 @ 6:45 pm |
| Comment: |
Some people need to calm down and remember that they are jokes |
| From: |
firefighter princess on March 9, 2005 @ 8:53 pm |
| Comment: |
hey asshole that wasn’t even funny. i am a firefighter and ill stick a hose up your ass and charge it...how’d you like that??? after i lost 343 brothers on september 11th you have the nerve to put that joke on here??? your parents should have raised your dumb ass better. i hope sometime you need the help of one of my brothers or sisters in the service..maybe youll see how dam important we really are!
danielle |
| From: |
CaRz on March 11, 2005 @ 2:19 am |
| Comment: |
Fancy saying shit like that about firefighters! If u need to pick on someone snuff n puff pick on child molesters and murderers and people like that. Dont pick on the ones who volunteer their time to help others..... The only hose u know about is the one attached to your bong you bum!! Instead of wasting your time writing lame jokes, why dont you volunteer your time and do something noble......like these firefighters do!!
I mean, hell u just never know when they will save your sorry ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| From: |
Firefighter Hater on March 12, 2005 @ 11:27 pm |
| Comment: |
AWESOME JOKE . FUCK FIREFIGHTERS. FUCKING IDIOTS |
| From: |
firelord on March 14, 2005 @ 1:59 pm |
| Comment: |
Firefighter Hater, my son, why do you hate firefighters so much. Did you want to be one and couldn’t make it? Did one of my brothers show your girl his equipment and she left you? Or are you really just a child of limited intelligence and experience to understand that no one really cares what you think and that your opinion means nothing to the masses. The only people that enjoy your banter are those like minded few who seem to share your view. I have counted two on this site. I geuss you are out voted so majority rules it is you that is the idiot and you probably suck too. Soo it be sayeth Firelord. Too everyone else here thank you. |
| From: |
blonde brat on March 21, 2005 @ 9:48 pm |
| Comment: |
i bet u dont have a HOSE! |
| From: |
bigassdic20 on March 24, 2005 @ 8:32 pm |
| Comment: |
shiiiiiiiiit yo boy 51 cent in this bitch
|
| From: |
scott allenson on March 28, 2005 @ 7:50 pm |
| Comment: |
yeah, fuck off, we’re new york finest (ass). |
| From: |
salem firefighter on March 30, 2005 @ 8:13 pm |
| Comment: |
you are a stupid little bitch. my 3 year old son could come up with a better joke than that. are you fucking retared? |
| From: |
Aussie firefighter on April 11, 2005 @ 1:27 am |
| Comment: |
Hey dip shit its easy to see your not a firefighter , How can we all tell because its fuckin usless cowards like you that we seem to be pulling out of burning buildings or cutting out of cars, go fuck your self dick head.
Even on the best day of your life when every thing is going so well, your still only a peice of shit on the bottom of our boots. How does it feel to have World Wide firefighters hope you burn. |
| From: |
FF on April 11, 2005 @ 2:05 am |
| Comment: |
Hey firefighter Hater, thats a big call for someone that tried so many times to become one of us and just couldnt cut it , I hope you remember those words next time you need us, BECAUSE YOU WILL NEED US ONE DAY. |
| From: |
sindbadxxx on April 11, 2005 @ 3:08 pm |
| Comment: |
take a pill everybody ,after all it’s a jokes website .
anyhow he didn’t say anything except that firemen have clean assholes,which is realy a compliment of the first order, he deserve our thanks for that.
p.s. do they use lubricants to shove it up their’s??? |
| From: |
Zulu5Oscar on April 15, 2005 @ 9:04 am |
| Comment: |
The joke makes no sense. A Firefighter is too stupid to find his ass with both hands, how could he possibly put a hose up it?
For all you supposed Firefighters out there... You’re a bunch of lazy, conceited, blow holes that should be erased from the community. Your constant reminders to everyone how brave you are only go to show how insecure and pathetic you are. ALL OF YOU!
Time for you all to take a look at what you REALY do. You sit on your asses all day, occasionally run on a trash dumpster fire and on the very rare occasion you have a structure fire, you piss your pants, put water on the outside then lie to everybody about all the bodies you rescued out of the burning building. You are completely incapable of appearing in public without a shirt or hat on proclaiming to the world that your a hero, you car has at least one Fire Department sticker on it to make sure that if someone can’t see your shirt because your in the car, they can still be reminded that your a hero.
|
| From: |
FF on April 16, 2005 @ 1:20 am |
| Comment: |
The stickers on our TRUCKS are for our other brothers, the cops, who are cool enough to understand we may have gotten called in to save some moron like you because the other firefighters were busy at a dumpster fire, set by some moron like you, and are on the other side of town. Then the other crew is busy getting a stupid fucking cat out of a tree for some moron like your mother. (When it’s hungry, it’ll come down)
During the day, we work on our department vehicles and equipment, to keep them in shape to help some moron like you. We also train to save morons like you. We damn sure don’t relax till at least after 5 pm, unless then, we get a call to save you. Ya moron. |
| From: |
FF on April 17, 2005 @ 9:21 pm |
| Comment: |
It’s also a pride thing. You wouldn’t understand. |
| From: |
genuine on April 26, 2005 @ 2:00 am |
| Comment: |
ITS A JOKE YOU MORONS.. LMAO.... HOW DUMB CAN YOU ALL BE TO REACT TO A JOKE LIKE THAT... ? |
| From: |
Feet on April 28, 2005 @ 8:28 pm |
| Comment: |
Genuine dumbass |
| From: |
strooob FF on May 2, 2005 @ 6:21 pm |
| Comment: |
I think u need a halligan shoved up your ass (he doesnt even know what that is)
but you would wish it was a fire hose |
| From: |
Zulu5Oscar on May 10, 2005 @ 8:20 am |
| Comment: |
A halligan tool is what you dip-shits need to pry your big conceited heads through the door. Your sticker theory is interesting but complete bullshit. Look within your own ranks for the biggest group of morons. The CDC’s firefighter fatality archives looks like the fucking Darwin awards. If you take out the stupid bonehead incidents, your on-duty fatalities would be somewhere around the profession of driving an ice cream truck. There is hope… Find a good shrink and tell them you’re a narcissistic prick and need meds. |
| From: |
FF Hater on May 10, 2005 @ 8:33 am |
| Comment: |
Two firefighters are buttfucking in a smoke filled room.
The fire chief walks in and says "What the hell is going on in here?!"
The Firefighter says "well sir, this man has got smoke inhalation."
The Chief says "why didn’’t you give him mouth to mouth"
The Firefighter says "How do you think this shit got started? |
| From: |
zulu doo-doo on May 16, 2005 @ 11:54 pm |
| Comment: |
zulu 5 oscar. what mos is that? and why hate firemen? jealousy? yep. bet that’s it. |
| From: |
Zulu5Oscar on May 20, 2005 @ 10:16 pm |
| Comment: |
It’s not hate, it’s vision. I see you pricks for what you are. Jealousy? just the comment I’d expect from a dip-shit plug. |
| From: |
FF453 on May 21, 2005 @ 6:16 am |
| Comment: |
FF Hater,
I think it’s pretty funny that you lost ur girlfriend to firefighter and thats why you dont like us. As a matter of fact it was probaly me, once she saw my big hose she just couldnt resist so then she turned it on and i sprayed her with it. And the reson my asshole is clean isnt becouse i stuck a hose up it its becouse licked it plum clean. thx
P.S youre joke blows. Asshole!!!! |
| From: |
zulu doo-doo on May 21, 2005 @ 5:51 pm |
| Comment: |
Again, what is your M.O.S.? Zulu? It’s not vision. You may have had a bad experience. Who knows. But if you really knew and had vision, then you would be saying different. |
| From: |
Firestarter on May 22, 2005 @ 3:40 pm |
| Comment: |
A needledick fireman lost his wife to me and theer are several firemans wives on my meat route. |
| From: |
FF Hater on May 24, 2005 @ 8:22 am |
| Comment: |
My Wife dosen’t go for the fat greasy mentally ill type like you.... must have been someone else that took her. You might be thinking of my Brother... He’s the one that cleaned your ass per your request. He called by the way and asked if you got the flowers he sent you. He says "sorry" for tearing your ass up like that. |
| From: |
Zulu5Oscar on May 24, 2005 @ 9:33 am |
| Comment: |
Zulu doo-doo, you need to get yourself some help buddy. You’re looking at the problem from within the problem itself. The first step to recovery is admitting that FF’s are narcissistic pricks. It’s only then that you can hope to recover (albeit with ample doses of psych meds) P.S. MOS’s are for pussies, NEC HM8427 |
| From: |
FF Hater on June 1, 2005 @ 1:51 pm |
| Comment: |
You’re my boyfriend too. |
| From: |
meena on June 9, 2005 @ 12:17 am |
| Comment: |
Zulu5Oscar is a marine? On may 24th. What an asshole. idiot marines. |
| From: |
Sam on June 12, 2005 @ 1:21 am |
| Comment: |
Wow..kind of crazy how out of hand one joke could get. To the guy who said all we do is sit around and all that jazz..there is a lot more to the job then meets the eye. For the people who arent involved in the fire service, as firefighters, we cannot expect you to understand what we truely do or the brotherhood and the fellowship we share. I’d glady lay down my life for any of my fellow brothers, if thats what was demanded, can you say the same about your job? Sometimes we get called heros,,but we are just ordinary people really,,doing unordinary things,,and we like it. Yes, we are proud of what we do because at the end of the day we might have had to help somebody,,and if its wrong to be proud of that..then oh well. To the firefighters on this thread, you’re better than that. Dont give them any satisfaction by letting them make you mad. . They don’t understand..and they probably never will..its not worth getting upset about. Its just a bad joke.. |
| From: |
Willie on June 20, 2005 @ 1:29 am |
| Comment: |
OR maybe you don’t. Who the fuck cares, insurance pays for it. Oh ya then you go to MVC and pretend to do something, wow ya ripped the car door off, big effen deal, I know 9 year olds that can figure how to do that crap, then you put a cervical collar on the guy in the car, did you ask if the had neck pain? NOOOOO! IDIOTS. Then once in while you go to a "cardiac arrest call" and look at the dead dude. Then when EMS comes you say HE JUST WENT VSA"., mean while the mofo looks purple and is obviously cardiac arrest for the longest time and he is dead cause you all don’t know a dead guy from a hypoglycmeic mofo from a faker. Help somebody, fuck you you all know the cops and real paramedics do the job. We actually go home and sleep after our shifts, not like you fucken bricklaying, furnace and A/C installing mofos. And fuck 911, if you all were as smart as the rest of us, you would lost a lot less. Ya that’s right, I said it. |
| From: |
carl on June 27, 2005 @ 1:31 am |
| Comment: |
Firemen are generally weird people. They all have inferiority complexes. Just look at the rush to become firemen of late. Publicity. Really a bunch of butt fuck bums that couldnt make it at a pie factory. Fucking each other and each others girls and moms. |
| From: |
KILLBOX on June 30, 2005 @ 7:13 pm |
| Comment: |
You haters aren’t even worth it.
- Local IAFF Brother |
| From: |
...... on July 27, 2005 @ 2:21 pm |
| Comment: |
There is a guy like that who write for the local newspaper and feels the need to bash firefighters because he was too retarded and weak to make it onto a department and I bet that’s what all the haters are as well. Wtf is a cop going to do at a house fire piss on it. You’re probably to weak to even life the tools you need to cut open a car, and in case you didn’t know the paramedics come after us we’re always the first there, we give medical treatment before the fucking paramedics do it’s us who saves the peope lives if we don’t revive them withing about the first 20 minutes then chances are they aren’t going to live, we save most of the lives. Have you people ever seen a 5 alarm fire,if you did you would probably run away shitting your pants you know nothing of the fire deprament except for the fact that they’re too good for any of you assholes to be a part of. You dumbshits have no clue what your talking about you just make yourselve look more stupid than you are. |
| From: |
...... on July 27, 2005 @ 2:22 pm |
| Comment: |
Also for you idiots who say cops save lives did you hear about the retarded cops that killed the baby in L.A. yeah nice job saving lives there, 11 officers ended up firing wtf is that crap. All you need is one sharpshooter, but they were to fucking dumb to think of that, face cops are a lot stupider than us |
| From: |
Joe blow on July 31, 2005 @ 1:37 am |
| Comment: |
All in all, a pretty fuckin good joke. Short, precise, to the point, quite unlike the majority of the egotistical megalomaniacs that posted their lengthy bovine scatology afterwards.. |
| From: |
to: Kayla on August 7, 2005 @ 8:17 pm |
| Comment: |
Very beautiful name. Infact you could say I have a fetish for that name. |
| From: |
CanadianMEDIC on August 23, 2005 @ 12:58 pm |
| Comment: |
Oh My. In defense of firefighters, your job is very important. But, after reading some of those comments you MUST have hoses up your asses to be bitching so much. And god damn! Dont they make firefighters go to school? The way you people spell has me thinking Grade 10 is the highest requirement to apply.
LOL.. Im just kidding.
Paramedics rock, Firefighters carry my stretcher :) |
| From: |
a guy on August 24, 2005 @ 1:29 pm |
| Comment: |
shit joke
but everyone is over-reacting a little bit |
| From: |
wow on August 27, 2005 @ 12:55 pm |
| Comment: |
a little overreaction???
God damn. |
| From: |
CreyK on September 13, 2005 @ 2:08 am |
| Comment: |
Ok, first of all, to all you FF haters you can go FUCK yourselves. They are important, they do a lot of shit that you guys couldn’t do. And to that FUCK head willie who said Fuck 9-11. I’d like to see YOU run up 110 floors carrying all the gear while hundreds of people are running down the building trying to get out while firefighters are going IN the building. They put their lives on the line! And you Fuck heads DON’T appreciate it. Police deal with sick Fucks like you who set fires and kill people. Paramedics help the injured people who get injured by fires set by you fucking people. Fire fighters put out fires and they DO save people in a burning buildings set by you kinda people. So if we didn’t have vile people like you we wouldn’t have to worry about this kinda shit, that goes on in this world. I hope all you FF haters burn in hell. THANK-YOU TO ALL OF THE FIREFIGHTERS OUT THERE IN AMERICA. |
| From: |
Zulu5Oscar on September 13, 2005 @ 1:14 pm |
| Comment: |
CreyK is obviously a firefighter... or he’s blowing one. Read the after action study on 9/11 Jackass. Your boyfriends were the cause of hundreds of deaths by not allowing them to descend and exit the building. The reasoning for that? Because they would block the stairwell and not allow the hose jockeys to go up the stairs. That’s real fucking smart.
Giving the FDNY guys the benefit of the doubt, it sickens me that all you other jackasses are riding the hero bandwagon like you yourself pulled burning bodies out of the twin towers.
Find a copy of the CDC report on annual FF fatalities. It’s a good read… humorous… it’s like the Darwin awards but the stuff FF’s do is even stupider. If you take all the FF fatalities an subtract those who died from dip shit mistakes (driving over your partner with the truck while going to lunch, etc) you’ll that FF’s have the safest job around.
|
| From: |
eng10delegate on September 15, 2005 @ 2:20 am |
| Comment: |
ive never heard such whining bullshit. fd, pd, medics, love what they do. dont let the secret out or these assholes will join us.. fdny forever |
| From: |
Anti FF on September 19, 2005 @ 3:23 pm |
| Comment: |
All of you moronic firemen ( I know you hate being called that ) have taken advantage of the hype surrounding 911. There were a handful who died actually trying to help people. The majority died because they were too fucking stupid to recognize the disaster that was right in front of them. Their "Superiors" were on the ground giving advice. Their egos wouldn’t allow them to listen to the cops warnings. Hell, you didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to see the end result. None the less, there they go marching to their death. Lambs to slaughter. Now all the hero wannabes are riding on the coat tails of these lazy, conceited pricks and millions of people are blind enough to buy into this? What a fucked up society we live in. Wake up people! |
| From: |
firefighter44 on September 21, 2005 @ 1:34 pm |
| Comment: |
For all you guys running ur mouths about firemen, all I have to say is get off ur ass and try to walk in our boots. I bet u couldn’t do half the shit we do on a daily basis, and to run ur mouths about us is just dumb you have no idea what we do or what we go thru. Let me ask u this have u ever in your life had to pick up your friend off the side of the road dead after he wrecked a motorcyle. Didn’t think so you have no idea and if u had the balls to say that shit to a firefighters face i promise u right now ud be the next person on the stretcher going to the hospital. So get off ur ass and quit hinding behind a computer and find out for yourself what we do. Stand up or shut up |
| From: |
tenhouse1010 on September 28, 2005 @ 4:37 pm |
| Comment: |
1. The joke was NOT funny!
2. Message to all firefighter haters; should your home ever catch fire, may the fire
department take the SCENIC route. Have a pleasant day! |
| From: |
friend of a ff on October 12, 2005 @ 1:52 pm |
| Comment: |
omg! ff hater you are a fuckin moron. grow up. i would never wish harm on anyone, but should u need the fire department for anything, i do wish they take the scenic route..cause you dont deserve any help from them or anyone else. u need to be locked up in a mental institution. for real.
to all the firemen/woman..thanks for all your great help!! you are awesome..keep up the good work for us!! god bless u all..and always remember. 9/11. |
| From: |
Zulu5Oscar on October 31, 2005 @ 4:01 pm |
| Comment: |
FireFuck 44 and twin Community FireFuck. It’s your conceited and fucked up personalities that make you think we don’t know what you do or can’t do what you do. Don’t kid yourself, I could train a fucking monkey to do your job in a week and he would do a better job for less money with less complaining.
Tenhouse 1010, Don’t bother going 10-8. The last think in the world I would do if my house caught on fire is call the fire department. Although we have a good group of guys working the local Vol FD, the "professional" Firefighters wouldn’t even be able to save my foundation anyways. I might as well let it burn to the ground and save on demo costs.
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