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david backham
Posted by: char on February 21, 2005 @ 2:11 pm
Alex Ferguson calls David Beckham into his office.
’David,’he says, ’I’m worried about your performance the last few games. You’ve been hopeless, completely off form.’
’Sorry, boss’, says David. ’I’ve not been myself lately. I’ve got a few problems at home.’
’Oh dear,’ says Ferguson, pretending to care. ’What’s up? Posh and Brooklyn okay?’
’Oh they’re fine’, says David. ’It’s just that something’s really bugging me and I’m losing sleep and everything. I can’t concentrate on my football and it’s really messing me up.’
’Whatever’s the matter, David?’ says Fergie.
’Well, boss’, says David, it’s pretty serious. You see I’m really stuck on this jigsaw and...’
’A jigsaw?!!!’ shouts Alex. ’You’re f......g up every time you play because of a bloody jigsaw?!!!’
’Yeah, boss, but you don’t understand, it’s really doing myhead in!’ says David in that horrible whining voice. ’It’s really hard and it’s this picture of a tiger and it looks really good on the box and I’m sure I’ve got all the bits and everything but I just can’t get it right and it’s doing my head in and I even had my hair cut to try and cool my brain down and...’
’David, David, David,’ says Ferguson. ’You’ve got to get a grip. It’s affecting our games and nothing is as important as Manchester Uniteds’ success, other than Roy Keane’s wages, obviously.’
’Yeah, boss,’ says David, ’but it’s this picture of a tiger and it looks really good on the box and I really want to finish it but it’s really hard and it’s doing my head in and it’s this picture..and it’s a tiger and it’s hard...and I can’t make the bits fit and, er, it’s really hard, er, boss and, er, it’s a tiger, er,... on the box...er...boss.’
Ferguson waits until even Beckham realises he’s repeating himself and has got nothing else to say which took a bit longer than usual. ’David,’ he says, with that conceited, irritating, smug smile he uses for self-congratulatory post-match interviews. ’Bring the tiger jigsaw in and let’s have a look at it. For Christ’s sake, we’ve got to get you back to playing football.’
’Oh thanks, boss,’ says David, ’that’d be really helpful ’cos it’s really hard and it’s a picture of a tiger and it’s doing my head in, that tiger is.’
So David brings the jigsaw into Ferguson’s office.
’Here it is, boss.’ He says, showing Ferguson the picture on the box. ’Look, boss, it’s this tiger, right, and it’s a really good picture and everything but I just can’t do it and it’s really hard and it’s doing my head in and it’s this picture here of a tiger,’ and Beckham empties all the pieces from the box all over Ferguson’s desk.
’David,’ sighs Ferguson, ’put the f*...g Frosties back in the box.’
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Add your own comment
| From: |
blondie on February 21, 2005 @ 2:25 pm |
| Comment: |
thats soooooooo funny it shows how dum beckham really is
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| From: |
Doctor on February 24, 2005 @ 6:02 pm |
| Comment: |
It’s good to see comments without ’fuck ass biatch pussy fuckin twat’
Written all over it. |
| From: |
sxc_gem on March 3, 2005 @ 12:21 pm |
| Comment: |
OMG this joke made me giggle 4 agessssssss |
| From: |
drug squad on March 6, 2005 @ 2:17 am |
| Comment: |
fuckin hell dat was class, took a while to read but it was class |
| From: |
ben dover on March 8, 2005 @ 4:55 am |
| Comment: |
dat sucks dude ill just carry on doing your mum through the backdoor as my name says the position. |
| From: |
Nurse on March 11, 2005 @ 10:00 pm |
| Comment: |
Doctor is a fuck ass biatch pussy fuckin twat |
| From: |
Vahida on March 13, 2005 @ 9:21 am |
| Comment: |
He is really cool. |
| From: |
mike on March 14, 2005 @ 4:49 pm |
| Comment: |
crap herd a better shorter version |
| From: |
FuCkFuCkfUcK on March 16, 2005 @ 9:34 pm |
| Comment: |
holy mother fuck that was funcking hilarious |
| From: |
Tippy on March 24, 2005 @ 7:30 pm |
| Comment: |
What do you get when you cross David Beckham with a gorilla?
A Stupid Gorilla |
| From: |
lobsang on March 28, 2005 @ 5:51 am |
| Comment: |
nothing joke with backham, he is always star for me
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| From: |
neil on April 18, 2005 @ 3:09 am |
| Comment: |
crap |
| From: |
tsedor on April 22, 2005 @ 7:44 am |
| Comment: |
hi.
bye
|
| From: |
nikhil on April 29, 2005 @ 5:29 am |
| Comment: |
excellent
|
| From: |
SüßÄ on May 4, 2005 @ 9:43 am |
| Comment: |
Heyy david iss verry hot.... i like him and love him=) baba |
| From: |
risleyt on May 4, 2005 @ 12:08 pm |
| Comment: |
what..???? man get the hell out of here////crazy way 2 long get to the point shit,,,,theres
a blond joke like that and if you people out there dont like it you can kiss my ass |
| From: |
rafaella on May 9, 2005 @ 12:39 pm |
| Comment: |
i love you Backham,from Brazil, you beatiful |
| From: |
lkop on May 17, 2005 @ 9:34 am |
| Comment: |
i love beckam |
| From: |
kecho on May 17, 2005 @ 9:39 am |
| Comment: |
beckam, dont get mad .you are always the king |
| From: |
Dilshod on May 23, 2005 @ 3:42 am |
| Comment: |
Hello Beckham am from Tajikistan if you read my later would you send me
only one word to my e-mail adress.its murod450 mail. ru |
| From: |
Dilshod on May 23, 2005 @ 5:07 am |
| Comment: |
Beckham you are my favorite football player.I watched all your games and relexed.
Please send me one word only one.
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| From: |
samandar on May 23, 2005 @ 6:05 am |
| Comment: |
hi Beckham i am writing from a far away write to me
samo415@mail.ru |
| From: |
FUNNY DUDE on May 31, 2005 @ 1:47 pm |
| Comment: |
THAT IS AN OLD JOKE BUT IT IS SO FUKING DAM FUNNY, I NEARLY PISSED MYSELF |
| From: |
slim shady on June 5, 2005 @ 3:38 pm |
| Comment: |
lol haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa beckham is shit i swear dat wen he takes a penalty he finks he is playing rugby |
| From: |
sadettin on August 23, 2005 @ 10:35 pm |
| Comment: |
he is very hadsome |
| From: |
www,mimi.ye@163.com on August 23, 2005 @ 10:36 pm |
| Comment: |
no matter happens ,i’ll back ham |
| From: |
stefan on September 8, 2005 @ 10:36 pm |
| Comment: |
david jou are cool |
| From: |
anita on September 23, 2005 @ 5:57 pm |
| Comment: |
David Backham a very good football star!!!!
|
| From: |
river james on October 8, 2005 @ 12:59 pm |
| Comment: |
its was ok i suppose but it could be abit shorter dude if the ending is just gonna be that.ok attept tho.giv u a 6 out of ten keep em cuming. |
| From: |
Chris on October 18, 2005 @ 7:48 pm |
| Comment: |
funny joke, but to long.
I heard he is played with some balls, but I don’t know who’s |
| From: |
All the fans on October 20, 2005 @ 4:21 pm |
| Comment: |
we love to entertain you |
| From: |
liisaa on November 3, 2005 @ 4:19 pm |
| Comment: |
david backham is lekker |
| From: |
dumbass on November 8, 2005 @ 5:54 pm |
| Comment: |
what’s a frostie? |
| From: |
APO on November 8, 2005 @ 5:54 pm |
| Comment: |
HEEEEEEY DAVID WE LOVE U!!!! |
| From: |
lol on November 28, 2005 @ 5:12 pm |
| Comment: |
replace david wit a blonde and alex wit the blondes husband and hey presto a new joke |
| From: |
Passi on November 30, 2005 @ 8:10 pm |
| Comment: |
David Backham you are the best
|
| From: |
KILLER on August 7, 2006 @ 11:34 pm |
| Comment: |
JSI TEN NEJVETŠÍ OCAS NA SVĚTĚ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| From: |
aşıkk on August 7, 2006 @ 11:34 pm |
| Comment: |
david backham
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