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Irish wife
Posted by: THE LIMEY on April 2, 2005 @ 4:13 am
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking (as you do), and discussing how stupid their wives were.
The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don’t even have a freezer to keep it in."
The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn’t even know how to drive!"
The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every toime oi tink of it," he chuckles. "Moy woife just left to go on a holiday in Greece. Oy watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there. And she doesn’t even have a penis!"
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Add your own comment
| From: |
Limey on April 4, 2005 @ 2:49 pm |
| Comment: |
I will admit something.....I wish I was Irish but unfortunnately I am not.My mum is a hun and my dad is a hun and somehow I think we are british but we live in Ireland...Im confused with my identity and as you can all see I am very bitter towards the Irish because I am terrified that they are going to unite Ireland....Im also so brainwashed by the British politicians, who seem to use us in Ulster as their pawns....hmmm...but its fine I suppose because we are sheep and we to be led like this to feel ’good’...and besides, we’re british and that means we are related to the queen. doesnt it?....Yeah, thats what I what i believe...even if I knew that the British govt and politicians were two faced and treated us as third class citizens in England, I wouldnt mind because Im loyal like a dog to its master and I love the queen unconditionally,for as long as I get kept down in a chav council estate and stay brainwashed, a K-9 genius I will be remain.... |
| From: |
Limey on April 4, 2005 @ 2:51 pm |
| Comment: |
I will admit something.....I wish I was Irish but unfortunnately I am not.My mum is a hun and my dad is a hun and somehow I think we are british but we live in Ireland...Im confused with my identity and as you can all see I am very bitter towards the Irish because I am terrified that they are going to unite Ireland....Im also so brainwashed by the British politicians, who seem to use us in Ulster as their pawns....hmmm...but its fine I suppose because we are sheep and we to be led like this to feel ’good’...and besides, we’re british and that means we are related to the queen. doesnt it?....Yeah, thats what I what i believe...even if I knew that the British govt and politicians were two faced and treated us as third class citizens in England, I wouldnt mind because Im loyal like a dog to its master and I love the queen unconditionally,for as long as I get kept down in a chav council estate and stay brainwashed, a K-9 genius I will be remain.... |
| From: |
on April 4, 2005 @ 6:17 pm |
| Comment: |
Limey isn’t British you moron |
| From: |
Mr.Information Man on April 4, 2005 @ 7:46 pm |
| Comment: |
’’Limey isnt British you moron’’...Blah,wah,wah,wah....you PRICK...he is British.How is he not?..he was saying some things about Ulster a couple of wks ago that would make me say he is....And dont give me this again-
’’1.The Limey wouldnt call himself british’’
’’2.A Limey wouldnt do this’’
3.A Limey wouldnt do that’’
You must be a fucking detective of some sort ...or better still,you must have some sort of telepathic powers...go and work for the FBI or something |
| From: |
Erika on April 5, 2005 @ 1:58 am |
| Comment: |
i don’t get it...what’s limey? |
| From: |
Knowall on April 5, 2005 @ 3:58 pm |
| Comment: |
Apparently the early British visitors to the Americas ate limes to get vitamin C and prevent scurvey.hence "Limey" McDonalds had shorter opening hours in the 19th century....Yes that last bit was dry English humour. |
| From: |
to mr misinformed on April 5, 2005 @ 4:52 pm |
| Comment: |
if you think Brits give a shit about Ulster you really are living on another planet. Limey is a redneck living on a trailer park. |
| From: |
Okay fine on April 5, 2005 @ 6:31 pm |
| Comment: |
he thinks he’s british...hahaha... maybe he’s a trailer park Ulster immigrant?? |
| From: |
manhattan on April 6, 2005 @ 3:16 pm |
| Comment: |
the first allmost funny joke ive read on this stupid web site so far. ( ok, ive only read about ten) |
| From: |
THE LIMEY on April 8, 2005 @ 2:19 am |
| Comment: |
HAHAHA GLAD YOU LIKED THE JOKE. TO THE OTHER CLOWN I AM "THE LIMEY" NOT limey, SHEESH, IF YOUR GONNA DO SOMETHING DO IT RIGHT YOU WANKER. FUCKING THICK YANKS EH |
| From: |
Sour Cherry on April 8, 2005 @ 8:57 pm |
| Comment: |
Transactions in the UK in dollars!?!?! I don’t think so!!!! |
| From: |
Limey's boyfriend on April 9, 2005 @ 1:35 pm |
| Comment: |
...What does ’’WANTEING’’ mean? |
| From: |
canada is the best on April 9, 2005 @ 3:33 pm |
| Comment: |
this is a canadian website |
| From: |
Anusfull O'Maggots on April 11, 2005 @ 3:55 pm |
| Comment: |
Good one THE LIMEY!!! |
| From: |
Oprah on April 12, 2005 @ 12:42 am |
| Comment: |
Please bert, come on my show. We can help you. |
| From: |
Irish lass on April 14, 2005 @ 2:49 am |
| Comment: |
gawd i love you sweet talkin brits |
| From: |
not tat funny on April 16, 2005 @ 5:30 am |
| Comment: |
i think he is so dumb come on get da picture |
| From: |
Celtic Vanguard on April 16, 2005 @ 1:50 pm |
| Comment: |
English Bob it’s about time you went running back to your horse of a queen and had tea and crackers with her. Start brushing your teeth because thy’re all limey and rotten, and while you’re doing that I’ll come up from behind you and put your lights out, hee hee hee! |
| From: |
english bob on April 16, 2005 @ 10:13 pm |
| Comment: |
and a pippip , floss the pearly whites and off to pick up a mallet to knock the shit out of the irish. bend the fair skinned irish lass over and put red welts upon her smelly ass. scrub the ass with irishspring and ream deeply with my massive english mollywocker..pippip chaps and sweet dreams to the irish lasses. |
| From: |
boring english pig on April 17, 2005 @ 11:13 am |
| Comment: |
oink oink...Im a greedy english pig...I want to eat strawberries and cream tarts with the our beloved queen.I love the queen...I LOVE HER and I would die for her...HAHAHA,...Fucking closed minded pricks |
| From: |
Celtic Vanguard on April 17, 2005 @ 4:59 pm |
| Comment: |
Hey English Bunghole...errr I meant English BOB it’s funny you should be making fun of the irish for being "fair" when you wankers are...well...just as pale as us.
Run on home to queeny, Charles and Camilla and have a good time horse fucking. LOL! |
| From: |
english bob on April 18, 2005 @ 5:07 pm |
| Comment: |
and a pippip sunny springday for all. off to the suntan room for a little color. after a little tan and steam i’ll be fit as a fiddle and ready to knock the shit out the irishman. smile britely to have your yellow chompers knocked out and for the little irish lasses, keep the fanny pasty white for a good spanking on the bum and get your little kaduttie ready to be reamed out by my massive wollymocker. good day for all. |
| From: |
Marko on September 14, 2005 @ 2:10 pm |
| Comment: |
DUDE, I WISH I WAS IRISH, THEY’RE PRETTY FUCKIN’ COOL !!!
and, stop with the racist bullshit... wanted or not... everyone is the same... we all take a crap sitting...
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| From: |
john kelly on September 21, 2005 @ 1:38 pm |
| Comment: |
i don’t care if you’re american,canadiain,brit,muslim or any other thing.fact of the matter is we fought a war and won it!! speak to anyone in this beautiful world and they will confirm that we deserved to win this war.every single one of us have been released from your prisons and understand that we will not be silent about what was done to us inside-so your jokes might not be so funny!!!
as i said before i found your comments amusing-however-please realise that some extremely dangerous men may not agree with me-if you didn’t mean to denigrate the irish freedom fighters , and i’m sure you didn’ t -please post an apology if you don’t want2 |
| From: |
laughoutloud...lol on September 26, 2005 @ 1:38 pm |
| Comment: |
that thick joke was the funniest thing like ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who ever did that joke has a 1st class sense of humor................. i love it and i’m not even irish................. |
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