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Application
Posted by: Dirtyjokesinc Staff on January 5, 2004 @ 5:42 pm
Application to live in the City or County of Dublin.
(Including Fingal)
Name:__________________________
Nickname : (what your friends call you ) __________________________
Address : ( herd number ) _________________________
Father: ( otherwise known as Daddy ) ____________________________
( If you don’t know your Daddy, list three suspects )
Mother: _____________________________
Neck Shade: Light Red Medium Red Dark Red
Do You own you own teeth ? Yes No
If borrowed, please state from whom. ________________________
Number of Teeth in Full Grin: Upper: _____ Lower: _____
Length of Right Leg: ____ Length of Left Leg: ____
How many wellies do you own ? ______ (pairs)
Size of Farm:
(please tick)
Middlin’ Smallish Bit of a Field Only A Bog
Make of your Tractor: ________________ Weight of Your Tractor: ___________
Tractor Equipped With (please tick) : Gun Rack 4 Wheel Drive Cassette Deck Load of Turf Ford Cortina Shock Absorbers Truck Wheels Sawdoctor’s CDs Mud Flaps
Toothpick Holder Big Dog Goat’s Hide
Number of empty Beer Cans on floor of your tractor: _________
BUMPER STICKERS SHOWN :
(please tick)
"Well Holy God" Me Other Car Is A Piece of SHITE Too If you’re not from Cavan, you’re not worth a shite Mayo for Sam Honk if you love Glenroe Supermacs
FAVOURITE VOCALIST:
(please tick)
Margo Big Tom Loretta Lynn Hank Williams Brendan Shine Garth Brooks Tammy Wynette Declan Nerney Daniel O’ Donnell Meself What’s A Vocalist?
FAVOURITE RECREATION:
(please tick)
Line Dancin’ Sheep Shaggin’ Slurry Smellin’ Bailin’ Hay Dole Signin’ Drinkin’ Chewin’ Tabacca Belchin’ Spittin’ Other
Name(s) of Daughter(s) :
(please tick)
Mary Biddy Bridie Udder
Weapons Owned :
(please tick)
Shovel Power or Chain Saw Pick Handle Slash Hook Hurley Other
Cap Emblem:
(please tick)
Guinness Smithwicks Massey Ferguson Net Nitrate 10-10-20 Kerry Co-Op
Smile if you’re wearin’ wellies
Number of Dependants : Legal ___ Claimed ___
Number of Welfare Cheques Claimed ____
Number of Weeks Unemployed: ______ (REALLY ____ )
Membership Of:
(please tick)
GAA IFA Macra ICA Youth Defence Fine Gael
Car Model:
(please tick)
Ford Cortina Ford Escort MK1 Ford Escort MK2 Fiat Ritmo VW Jetta Humber Honda 50
How many cars do you have jacked up on blocks in your yard ? _____
Are you married to any of the following :
(please tick)
Sister Brother Cousin Cow
Does your wife weigh more than your tractor ? Yes No
Can you write your name and get the spelling right every time ? Yes No
Have you ever stayed sober for a whole weekend ? ________ If Yes, Why ? __________
Can you count to :
(please tick)
Ten with your shoes on Twenty-one with your fly closed
Medical History:
B.O. Bovine T.B. Smelly Feet Runny Nose Bad Breath Head Lice Sheep Lice
Foot & Mouth Disease
Please give the same information in respect to yourself.
THANK YOU FOR FILLING IN THIS FORM
We Will Let You Know If Ewe Can Stay Next Week. |
Add your own comment
| From: |
kiddo on June 18, 2004 @ 2:57 am |
| Comment: |
hmm...now how is that irish? |
| From: |
Ewe moron on September 19, 2004 @ 4:21 am |
| Comment: |
That’s just a redneck joke. |
| From: |
asdsag on October 25, 2004 @ 10:00 am |
| Comment: |
and a bad one |
| From: |
nase on November 8, 2004 @ 5:20 pm |
| Comment: |
no seriously what is that youre english homework
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| From: |
that was shit on November 19, 2004 @ 12:48 pm |
| Comment: |
if u aregoin 2 make a joke. DONT |
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