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Three Little Italian Pigs
Posted by: allan burt on June 20, 2006 @ 1:25 pm
Once upon a time there were three little Italian pigs called Giancarlo,Antonio and Guido.
One day a big bad wolf came to Giancarlo’s house which was made out of straw and said, ’ I’m going to huff and puff and blow your house down then eat you up.’
Giancarlo became very afraid and ran out of the back door to his brother Antonio’s house which was made out of wood.
The next day the big bad wolf came and said, ’I’m going to huff and puff and blow your house down and eat you both up.’
Giancarlo and Antonio were terrified of the wolf and ran quickly to their brother Guido’s house which was made out of bricks.
The next day the big bad wolf came and said, ’ I’m going to huff and puff and blow your house down and eat the three of you all up.’
Guido picked up the phone and called a friend.Three minutes later a big black stretch limo pulled up outside Guido’s house and two large pigs dressed in pin striped suits and fedoras got out of the car.These huge pigs came over to the wolf and kicked seven different shades of shit out of him,shot him in the mouth then got in the car and drove off. |
Add your own comment
| From: |
big red on June 21, 2006 @ 11:06 am |
| Comment: |
now as these jokes get better, this site is destined for world fame, yes it is populer, allan burt will be nominated for joketeller of the year, now mattaw i’m concerned about your anger, i am afraid that big boil on your face will pop all over your computer screen and the library will not let you use theirs anymore and you will not be able to post and consiquently we won’t be able to laugh at your nonsense, i’ve read the book, the angry old man, but you have claimed the title, the angry punk, my matt, you can do better. |
| From: |
Matthew Villani on June 21, 2006 @ 11:06 am |
| Comment: |
And the moral of the story is: Nobody fucks with Italians and lives to tell about it. |
| From: |
bigred on June 21, 2006 @ 11:08 am |
| Comment: |
mat villini, now lets keep it real, what part of you is italian, do you speak italian or is it a claim, you have claimed many things, a claim you were a professional football player and wrestler, the claim your father was from guianna and you are half black and italian and molato’s are considered white by many, whats the deal with you, do you live in some kind of fantasy world, why in the world don’t you accept all people and live in the real world. |
| From: |
Matthew Villani on June 22, 2006 @ 1:26 pm |
| Comment: |
Listen, bitch, I never made any of those claims, and you are just a xenophobic prick that hates Italians. If you look at the last name, you should notice, it doesn’t look Anglo or Germanic at all, it looks ITALIAN! |
| From: |
chimp on June 22, 2006 @ 1:27 pm |
| Comment: |
yeah well what can you say about Matthew. he obviously lives in some sort of fantasy
land and lets hope he gets the help and medication he so desperatly needs. that would
be a funny joke if it wasnt so representative of wop mentality. "you mess wid us we killa
you" . big nosed Soprano wops make me sick. |
| From: |
Matthew Villani on June 22, 2006 @ 1:28 pm |
| Comment: |
You really wanna find yourself at the bottom of the ocean wearing cement shoes, don’t you, motherfucker? |
| From: |
bigred on June 23, 2006 @ 3:09 pm |
| Comment: |
mattaw villaan, its not nice to threaten people, you are a big blowheart, all trap, you are not a mafia type, you don’t even speak italian, by the way they would not accept you into the organization, you must be of full descent, half italians and half afro american blends are working in the dishwashing division of the pizza shops, you are a punk, so go dirty your blue shoes by the swingset and keep quiet. ps, be more respectful to the chimpster, he is wiser and your elder, shut up and listen. |
| From: |
Matthew Villani on June 23, 2006 @ 3:09 pm |
| Comment: |
You won’t be making fun of Italians much longer, fuckwad. Someone is gonna find you and fit you up with a nice pair of cement shoes, or guess what, maybe you can be part of a building. You know how I am, if you talk intelligently to me, I respond back intelligently, but if you talk shit to me, I’ll talk shit back, understand? |
| From: |
Silvio on June 23, 2006 @ 3:11 pm |
| Comment: |
To all of you German Jerkoffs who insult us Italians, go to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| From: |
bigred on June 24, 2006 @ 11:20 am |
| Comment: |
jmattaw if you are so tough and try to be a soprano soapbox character, maybe you would be good fighting the war on terror. |
| From: |
chimp on June 24, 2006 @ 11:21 am |
| Comment: |
matthew has no respect for anyone least himself. one thing real italians do have is
respect for their elders and i admire that. quite amazing though given that they got a raw
deal in the genes department. 3 inch noses, oil flowing from their choclate skin and body
odour that would offend a skunk. you have my sympathy and pity. now wheres my garlic
pepperoni pizza |
| From: |
bigred on June 25, 2006 @ 8:17 am |
| Comment: |
rock on chimpster, another one for the punk kid to look at. |
| From: |
bigred on June 25, 2006 @ 8:18 am |
| Comment: |
mattaw day after day, week after after week, you are taught good from bad by the teachers here at the dirtyjokes university, its amazing how far you’ve come matt, the moderator gives you great jokes to grasp on to , the chimps comments from above are music to your ears and the others who have provided you with tutaledge, its time for you to be fitted with your cap and gown, where can we send your apron and pizza hat. |
| From: |
Desert Fox on June 25, 2006 @ 8:18 am |
| Comment: |
Shut up Villani, the reason why the German army had to delay the attack on the Soviet Union is because they had to help the dumb Italians on the Southern front, the lazy Mussolini army wasn’t even able to beat a whimpy nation as Greece. Without this delay the German army would not have faced the Russian winter and would have beaten the red army. Fuck you and your diarriah-colored brothers Villani ! As from now I’ll call you Captian Correlli , hahaha.
|
| From: |
Silvio on June 26, 2006 @ 10:55 am |
| Comment: |
To Desert Kraut,
What the hell are you talking about? Why are you bringing up World War 2? Who’s talking about World War 2 here?
However, for your information the Krauts lost the war because they stabbed the Italians in the back!!!
You German Jerkoffffffffffffffffffffffffffff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
| From: |
chimp on June 26, 2006 @ 10:55 am |
| Comment: |
actually Mussolini had to divert a large part of the Italian army to harvest the garlic bulb
crop before winter. that is those soldiers stil able to fight and not suffering from hemeroids
or self induced injuries to avoid having to see front line action. basicly whatever way you
look at it and in any point in history the Italians were a joke and an embarresment. |
| From: |
bigred on June 27, 2006 @ 11:45 pm |
| Comment: |
for all he does, i have proclaimed this a holiday, national moderator day, in honer of the hardwork and dedication to the dirtyjokes university forum, just as important as the 4th of july and the rest, we offer cheer and a thumbs up for the moderator, and as usual for jmattaw a middle finger salute, ah salute mattaw for all you do , which is nothing, to all a great day. |
| From: |
Silvio on June 27, 2006 @ 11:46 pm |
| Comment: |
to chimp,
I’m sure a Kraut like you would know a lot about embarresments. Germany of today and yesterday is and was and always will be an embarrasment to mankind! |
| From: |
Desert Fox on June 27, 2006 @ 11:46 pm |
| Comment: |
I’M talking about WW2 and I’M bringing up the subject, whether you like it or not. You don’t mind making fun of the Dresden bombing so now we will start to make fun of the Mussolini.
I live in Northern Europe, in a country that had to welcome thousands of Italian, Spanish and Portuguese immigrants. You muditteranians have been the problem child of the EU for decades and still continue to be a pain in the ass on the way to progress and wealth, an " embarrasement " as chimp put it. |
| From: |
chimp on June 27, 2006 @ 11:47 pm |
| Comment: |
you got to wonder about those Italiens. Hitler wanted a master race of tall blue eyed
blondes with pure white skin. Hello Italy ? choc greaseball skin, dark eyes and hair,
hunched backs and over sized Jewish style noses were never going to make the grade.
Of course they were going to stab you in the back but they knew you were never going to
be a force to be reckoned with so why bother. wops are even more stupid than they look.
You can dress a baboon in a tuxedo and train him to imitate human behaviours but its
still a baboon. |
| From: |
bigred on June 27, 2006 @ 11:47 pm |
| Comment: |
point well taken by the chimpster, most of those itlain soldiers got the roids from sitting on their fat lazy asses and dodging work while stuffing to much pizza in their traps, i don’t know why they didn’t use their best weapon, their fire island garlic breath to fight the enemy. |
| From: |
bigred on June 27, 2006 @ 11:47 pm |
| Comment: |
as the 4th of july nears and all coutries of the world celebrate our great day, the italians celebrate to, their 4th consists of burning garlic and watching soprano reruns and snifing pepper, whoever snifs the most pepper gets an all inclusive free vaction with jmattaw at his home, the altoon county dump. |
| From: |
Matthew Villani on June 27, 2006 @ 11:47 pm |
| Comment: |
Actually Desert Fag, the Germans lost because there was gonna be Russian winter no matter when they left, they left in June when it was finally warm. They didn’t have to help the Italians, we "greaseballs" were doing just fine on our own. Admit it, you hate us Mediterraneans because a hot Italian woman dumped your pink ass for a real man.
PS: Heehee, I notice two of the Italian jokes got canned. Anyone wonder why? Here’s a hint, because it was too full of insults against Italians by you thor-worshippers. |
| From: |
chimp on June 29, 2006 @ 2:57 pm |
| Comment: |
yes bigred the 4th of july. a day for celebration of all things greasy and stinky for our
special Italiano friends. stock up on garlic now and beat the rush. sniff pepper, rub your
body with garlic infused olive oil and get your snout in the trough for fat mommas roasted
garlic bulbs topped with garlic sauce. worship st anthony soprano for he is all things that
make good Italians. |
| From: |
Silvio on June 29, 2006 @ 2:57 pm |
| Comment: |
Desert Fox,
What North European country do you live in? The Jerkoff Germans have not let many South Europeans into their country, not that many South Europeans would want to go to such a dreary place!
Most Germans love to visit Italy and not the other way around!!
Also Italians and other South Europeans are going to make fun of the Dresden bombing since you Germans&Northerners have been bashing Italians and South Europeans for a long time. |
| From: |
bigred on June 29, 2006 @ 2:58 pm |
| Comment: |
jmattaw says heehee, are you a ivy boy or what, they do not say heehee, the italians say hee hee , mama your spagatti sauce made me pee, or hee hee does my breath really smell that bad and are you sure i should use garlic as breathmints. |
| From: |
Angelo on June 29, 2006 @ 2:58 pm |
| Comment: |
Well I saw the WW2 "History" and Im sorry I had to laugh out loud because it was so innacurate. And another point the Earth is warming up... that means in about 50 years N. Europe will resemble something like a desert. How well will your blue eyes and pasty white skin help you in that Climate?? The Nordics are simply a ethnicity that is on the downfall. |
| From: |
Silvio on June 30, 2006 @ 11:15 am |
| Comment: |
To Angelo,
Thank god that the Nordic jerkoffs are going down hill! |
| From: |
saddened on July 1, 2006 @ 2:13 pm |
| Comment: |
the moral of the story is Italians are just another dumb tar baby that has become easy to laugh at |
| From: |
Confilleone on July 1, 2006 @ 2:13 pm |
| Comment: |
I’m Italian, and I have no problem with these jokes. Mat VillanI.
Futchabruthe! Bah Fongul, y Fanabla! |
| From: |
Matthew Villani on July 1, 2006 @ 2:14 pm |
| Comment: |
To Angelo: Yes, we’re going to have another medivel warm period like in the middle ages, and they’re going to have to retreat to the north pole and then sink into the ocean. |
| From: |
Silvio on July 1, 2006 @ 2:14 pm |
| Comment: |
What is the one word that starts with "N" you absolutely positively do not want to call a German?
Neighbor! |
| From: |
Antonio Banderos on July 2, 2006 @ 12:06 pm |
| Comment: |
Silvio!
LOL!
You are the man!
I can’t tell you how hard I was laughing at the stupid Germans with that joke!
What you say is so true! |
| From: |
Antonio Banderos on July 2, 2006 @ 12:07 pm |
| Comment: |
What do you call a German guy’s face?
A punching bag! |
| From: |
chimp on July 2, 2006 @ 12:07 pm |
| Comment: |
grease melts at high temperatures |
| From: |
rockyroad on July 4, 2006 @ 10:58 am |
| Comment: |
Are you sure the Exxon Valdez had an oil spill or did a couple of Italians go swimming you tell me. |
| From: |
chimp on July 7, 2006 @ 3:21 pm |
| Comment: |
i beleive you are correct about the exxon valdez. its a cover up by the italian government.
it wouldn’t be the first time. |
| From: |
TopOfTotemPole on July 7, 2006 @ 3:21 pm |
| Comment: |
Although I do like the joke about Exxon Valdez, everyone knows through history Germans and Italians are not to be messed with. We have and will stomp your ass if provoked
|
| From: |
bigred on July 8, 2006 @ 11:31 pm |
| Comment: |
history has shown us that italians are greasy and the germans stomp their smelly feet in their potatoes. |
| From: |
chimp on July 8, 2006 @ 11:31 pm |
| Comment: |
Germans and Italians are not to be messed with ??? WTF
You are obviously not well. Now Germans yes they have some admirable attributes but
Italians.............nah........completely useless and ugly to boot. |
| From: |
Desert Fox on July 8, 2006 @ 11:32 pm |
| Comment: |
that’s true, don’t mess with the Germans or you’ll pay a very high price, as for the Italians, well, .... |
| From: |
bigred on July 9, 2006 @ 11:57 pm |
| Comment: |
now i don’t know about messen wit does gemanis or greaseballs, but don’t mess with texas and sure don’t mess with mattsy cause he can beat you up if your in 2nd grade with those massive stringbean biceps and fuming fire island garlic breath. |
| From: |
bigred on July 11, 2006 @ 4:22 pm |
| Comment: |
j mattaw villain, the desert fox is trying to teach you lessons as your jr college approaches in the fall, listen and you give a book report on what you have learned. |
| From: |
Silvio on July 12, 2006 @ 11:00 am |
| Comment: |
It figures that a chimp would find "admirable attributes" about the Germans. Its also no wonder the chimp thinks Germans look OK since chimps and Germans are both non-humans!!
Who better than chimps can relate to the inhuman savage Germans? |
| From: |
Matthew Villani on July 14, 2006 @ 11:13 am |
| Comment: |
Chimp and BigRed are morons, and apparently the same guy, along with Desert Fox and all of his worshippers. All he can come up with is an array of greaseball comments, absurd insinuations that well-respected Penn State University is a community college, and talk of "tolerance and love" while showing none for Mediterraneans. It’s ABM syndrome. To set things striaght, you are jealous of Italians, and you are somehow confusing Penn State University with Cambria Community. |
| From: |
bigred on July 15, 2006 @ 11:36 pm |
| Comment: |
i can assure young chicadee vallane jmattaw, those three mentioned are not the same but posters to the dirtyjokes univ website, a jokesite i say, for laughter and good humor, mixed with sunshine all is well in the real world, not the greasy world, your not even italian and i assume you get your grease from bad hygiene not naturally, so with that said, enjoy your studies at the altoon cabrosita college in hometown altoon and let the crackheads due their studies at penn st. college, by the way i must say congrates as it moved into the top ten of muslim colleges in america, with a little help from their friends, they are destined for number one. |
| From: |
Matthew Villani on July 24, 2006 @ 11:23 am |
| Comment: |
BigRed probably is bitter that he failed English all those years. |
| From: |
bigred on July 26, 2006 @ 11:39 am |
| Comment: |
i have a degree in enlish from penn st. |
| From: |
Italy BEAT Germany on July 28, 2006 @ 11:51 am |
| Comment: |
bigred,
Of course you have a degree in "enlish" this is why you are such a stupid German moron.
What’s with you idiot Germans? To think you Germans actually think you’re smart. |
| From: |
bigred on July 29, 2006 @ 4:35 pm |
| Comment: |
i’m not geman, nor am i a biggot. |
| From: |
Matthew Villani on July 29, 2006 @ 4:36 pm |
| Comment: |
BigRed couldn’t even be put into English 4 on the placement exams, because his English wuold be way too piss-poor. |
| From: |
Italy BEAT Germany on July 30, 2006 @ 10:56 am |
| Comment: |
bigred YOU ARE GERMAN AND YOU ARE A BIGOT! These go together quite naturally! |
| From: |
villanis adversary on July 31, 2006 @ 11:02 am |
| Comment: |
hey villani you mediterranean monster go back to the med where all you mediterranean monsters were born from the bowels of satan.u greasy mud colored monster. |
| From: |
Linda on August 1, 2006 @ 11:54 am |
| Comment: |
I love Italians!!!! |
| From: |
Linda on August 1, 2006 @ 11:54 am |
| Comment: |
Bigred you are just jealous because Italians are hot hot hot and you are not not not !!!! |
| From: |
Germans fuckwads on August 2, 2006 @ 10:57 am |
| Comment: |
Germans clearly are retarded.
Q: How does a German eat mussels
A: *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* ... AUFMACHEN !!! |
| From: |
chimp on August 2, 2006 @ 10:57 am |
| Comment: |
Linda i hope you get the help you need |
| From: |
Jack Daniels on August 3, 2006 @ 12:05 pm |
| Comment: |
Congratulations guys, u made a pretty bad joke even worse. you should feel very proud.
|
| From: |
Matthew Villani on August 5, 2006 @ 11:23 am |
| Comment: |
To Adversary: You’re probably just jealous because some Italian girl dumped you, so you whine about us "awful Mediterraneans". Your idea of mud colored is most likely anybody that doesn’t look like a Turanid. Speaking of non-Whites, I bet you’re half Cherokee just like every other xenophobic Anglo. I’m pretty sure you’re the mud here ad you’ll never be as pure as me. Just get over it, you’re about as pure as dogshit.
To Linda: Thank you for the good words about us Italians. We need more people like you in this world. |
| From: |
proud white woman on August 6, 2006 @ 6:43 pm |
| Comment: |
Matthew how can you be so confused. You do know a long time ago they used to hang Italians in the south don’t you. Italians were not even known as white. Now in todays modern society even Jews are known as being white. I have an Irish husband and he has told me even the Irish as well as the Italians were not known as white and were treated as non whites would be. Please be a little more informed Matthew.
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| From: |
Truthfully on August 11, 2006 @ 2:43 pm |
| Comment: |
Matthew Villani-
You may not like him, but Desert Fox is right. The German Army planned the Russian invasion for May of 1941, however they got sidetracked because Mussolini and his idiots couldn’t handle Greece, in addition to Albania and Yugoslavia. So the Germans had to go down south, bail out the idiots that were the Italian army, and in doing so got delayed over a month. This delay cost them dearly as they faced the full brunt of the Russian Winter, and even then they were only days away from entering Moscow. Hell, they could even spot the spires of the Kremlin with the naked eye!
Now imagine how far they would have gotten if the invasion went as scheduled and they had that whole extra month to work with. Moscow would have probably fallen and the Soviet Union would have never become a superpower. All part of history. |
| From: |
Desert Fox on August 13, 2006 @ 8:14 am |
| Comment: |
finally someone who knows something about what really happened during WW2, the greasy italians were a very bad ally for Germany, that’s a historical fact. No doubt about that.
|
| From: |
Sal on August 15, 2006 @ 10:45 am |
| Comment: |
Desert Idiot,
You are very ignorant of the facts. The real reason why the Germans lost is because they suck as fighters. It has nothing to do with what you said about the Italians.
|
| From: |
Samara Morgan on August 22, 2006 @ 3:23 pm |
| Comment: |
No matter what may or may not have happened in Italy during WWII, remember that Italians are white, and the stupid whitebashing propoganda is pointless. I feel like crawling out of BigRed’s computer screen and causing him to drop over head. |
| From: |
rm on August 23, 2006 @ 11:11 am |
| Comment: |
Desert Fox,
Its impossible for the Germans to ever have any allies, and thereby win wars, since everyone always seems to hate them. |
| From: |
sliptooth on September 22, 2006 @ 11:18 am |
| Comment: |
To Desert Fox,
I noticed you keep talking about WW2, anyway, here is what really happened, hitler was a loser and I have pity for anyone who believes in a concept such as a "master-race"...... Maybe it will grow a little if you go master-bate! |
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