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Hail Caesar
Posted by: allan burt on August 11, 2006 @ 10:50 am
A short,fat,bald Italian man (?Matt Villani) went to a brothel one evening and selected an absolutely gorgeous blonde.As they went upstairs the Italian had a beaming smile on his face as he thought of what lay in store for him but the woman viewed the ugly man with distaste.
However, as they undressed the blonde was astonished to find that the Italian had a very,very large penis.
’ Oh,what a magnificent cock you have there, ’ said the woman.
’ Yes, I am very proud of him, ’ said the Italian, ’ I call him Caesar. ’
’ Can I bring some of the other girls round to have a look at him?’ she asked.
’ Certainly not,’ said the Italian.
’ But why not?’ pouted the woman.
’ Because I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him,’ said the Italian. |
Add your own comment
| From: |
bigred on August 11, 2006 @ 2:43 pm |
| Comment: |
fiction or nonfiction, a quality joke with an extremely greasy bald dripper as the character, i’m sure she was speaking of the greaseballs snozolla or big buyan on his forehead instead of the johnson, but who knows what those penispumps they sell on line can do for you, he has been absent from the forum lately, maybe thats what he’s been doing. |
| From: |
italy world champion on August 11, 2006 @ 2:45 pm |
| Comment: |
it’s been almost a year that u have ben posting this crap here.
are u really gonna spend ur whole miserable existence scavenging for ridiculos jokes to post on this website in the attempt to make italians feel inferior?
how incredibly juvenile!!
get a life and a pussy and find a more mature way to feel good about urself.
start by changing ur last name, BURT, lol fucking ridicuous...sounds like a bolemic when he stick 2 fingers down his throat. |
| From: |
allan burt on August 11, 2006 @ 2:55 pm |
| Comment: |
To answer the above comment,what else do you post on an Italian Jokes section apart from Italian Jokes.
Secondly,at least I have the balls to post my real name,unlike you who hides like a coward.
What is your surname,probably something like Assholini. |
| From: |
bigred on August 12, 2006 @ 11:00 am |
| Comment: |
the comment from italy world champ comes from mattqw as he skips from ip addres to ip address sneaking in the backdoor to avoid the surname of garlic boy, punk, or just plain stinky. |
| From: |
Silvio on August 12, 2006 @ 11:03 am |
| Comment: |
allan burt,
I guess you just can’t help yourself being a German Jerkoff! |
| From: |
Angelo on August 12, 2006 @ 11:03 am |
| Comment: |
there goes Bigred LOL Every time he types up on the computer he gets sunburned because of his pink skin. And would thus explain why all these pink skins stay inside on the computer all the time. |
| From: |
chimp on August 12, 2006 @ 11:05 am |
| Comment: |
allan burt provides quality jokes for the amusement of all. im sure that you are the Italian
world champion....for stupidity. only a dumb ass wop guinea could come up with such a
pathetic attempt to discedit allan. you only make yourself look stupid and confirm what
we all know, that italos are sore losers with no sense of humour and too much grease on
their hands. |
| From: |
bigred on August 12, 2006 @ 11:06 am |
| Comment: |
yes its that time of year again and results are in for the all pro dirty jokes team awards, first team joke teller , allan burt, for all he brings to the table, job well done, to the chimpster, first team and co captain for creative post and education value to the site, again, job well done, honerable mention to pr hottie and her cuban friends she or he post as, most inconsistent and uneducated, and first team without a doubt, mattaq villone, aka, mattsy assonlini, you have earned your award and reward too, biggest dumbass, hands down, greasiest and garlic invested as well as being the hands down winner as out best multicultural blend, a good job to all and keep up the great work, especially you matwak, keep dragging those knuckles and don’t forget to stay out of the shower. special recognition also goes to angela or angela, keep getting on your bike, one day you will stop falling off and learn to ride. |
| From: |
Angelo on August 13, 2006 @ 8:13 am |
| Comment: |
And the award for the biggest doucebag in the entire universe goes to.....(drum roll).......Bigred!!!!!!!!!!!!! for his exceptional qualities of making the rest of the world look smarter! Lets give it up to bigred!!!! |
| From: |
bigred on August 13, 2006 @ 8:13 am |
| Comment: |
mattaw, we just joke with you and i hope you don’t get offended, i know your quite the sensitive boy, now i personally think your heritage is cool as you explained it. a father that was of nigerion descent who was a pimp, a 1/2 italian and 1/2 lebeneese mamma who made lunch money lying on her back and you popping outta that garlic patch, i give you credit for persevering, the stench must have been quite awkward to handle, i give you props and credit, you are the true hairy muster garlic patch boy. |
| From: |
bigred on August 13, 2006 @ 8:15 am |
| Comment: |
i’m sorry silvio or silvia for not mentioning you in the yearly awards, you get the first team nit award and the 2nd team wit award, this gives you honerable mention for nitwit of the year, keep posting and you may win the firstteam nitwit award which went to mattwak villian, keep trying sissyboy. |
| From: |
chimp on August 15, 2006 @ 10:44 am |
| Comment: |
seeing awards are on the table i would like to give special mention and thanks to bigred.
his commitment to this site is obvious. his quality use of the english language and
grammar need to be recognised. his wit and tolerance are always welcomed and he has
also saved countless lives by warning others of the dangers of italo fire island garlic
breath. matthaw villiyani also deserves the award for the biggest bigot and least tolerant.
in grease we trust. |
| From: |
Honderheidl on August 15, 2006 @ 10:45 am |
| Comment: |
I know I’m usually on the Pollock Jokes forum, but I have to say this "Matt Villani" or whatever needs to quit degrading Burt and his jokes. bigred is a damn funny guy as well! |
| From: |
bigred on August 16, 2006 @ 10:44 am |
| Comment: |
don’t worry and feel welcome to post, the polinskis and the greaseballs share many a common bond, when you add the polish educational value and the italian grease you may find a new species, the poletalian. |
| From: |
Angelo on August 16, 2006 @ 10:44 am |
| Comment: |
Bigred’s use of the english language is a joke in itself. |
| From: |
Matthew Villani on August 16, 2006 @ 10:46 am |
| Comment: |
To Bigred: You think you drove me off? HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!! No no, I don’t post as much because you’re boring as hell. It’s the same old rhetoric. Blabla "greasy" blabla "garlic" blabla "hairy Italian" blablabla.
To Honderheid: You think bert is funny? Do you think the chicken joke is funny too?
To Chimp: You think I’M the biggest bigot? Qutie ironic that your last statement was "in grease we trust", obviously illustrating for all of us who the true bigot is. |
| From: |
Honderheidl on August 17, 2006 @ 11:02 am |
| Comment: |
Villani I think your obvious inability to keep your personal hygiene level up is the funniest thing here! You sit here and try to make yourself sound like some big tough guy italian on a goddamn JOKES forum! You’re about as italian as Danny DeVito, LOL!!! |
| From: |
bigred on August 17, 2006 @ 11:04 am |
| Comment: |
your posts are very negative, attrocious to say the least , quite critical of everyone, yes you are greasy, not from being italian as i’ve explained to you before that your not , not from being uneducated as has also been mentioned before by chimp the resident dean, not from being meek in stature and poor in the pockets, but of the brunt of the joke, singuler in nature, yes mattsy your a joke in itself, the supreme laughing matter, a punk who visits only to spread oil, yes the young boy on a journey, to where is anyone’s guess, but yes matt assolini your a true joke. |
| From: |
bigred on August 17, 2006 @ 11:05 am |
| Comment: |
please quit using all the big words matti, why don’t you speak italian, show us that your a poadi veschito, a real wantosita, speak your native tounge, are you ashamed , if you don’t speak italo, then stop speaking giberish and communicate correctly. |
| From: |
Matthew Villani on August 20, 2006 @ 10:54 am |
| Comment: |
To Honderhoid: I think the comments you make about yourself (like the hygeiene one) are really about yourself but you’re claiming they’re my attributes. That’s called projection.
To Bigred: What’s the matter, can’t understand my big word? Funny thing again is you claim to love everyone yet you’re the biggest bigot on the forum with your "greasy" remarks. But what should I expect from someone like you? I guess it’s too much to ask for you to write on at least a second grade level. |
| From: |
Honderheidl on August 22, 2006 @ 3:21 pm |
| Comment: |
Matthew, what you said above shows you’re trying to shift the focus of the issue that is at stake, namely the poor state of your hygiene. That’s called denial. |
| From: |
bigred on August 23, 2006 @ 11:06 am |
| Comment: |
2nd grade level in italy, a plus b equals garlic, 1plus 2 equals don’t ever get caught in the shower. |
| From: |
Silvio on August 23, 2006 @ 11:11 am |
| Comment: |
Honderheidl,
Your trying to shift the debate from the fact that you Germans are insolent idiots. |
| From: |
bigred on August 24, 2006 @ 11:23 am |
| Comment: |
silvia now remember, nothing shifted, nothing gained, remember the your big g’s, garlic and gas, know go shit yourself greaseball. |
| From: |
bigred on August 27, 2006 @ 10:57 am |
| Comment: |
yes its me, not mr. burt, the joketeller, not mr. chimp, the italian educator, but bigred, the one who avoids garlic at the speed of sound, armed with my fireisland garlic spray, to the title of the joke, hail caeser, i say hail greaser or stinky, give a poor italian a chance, buy him a mop and broom, don’t give up on the italians, we just love our greasy friends. |
| From: |
Freddy the Wop on August 27, 2006 @ 10:58 am |
| Comment: |
I’m proud of being greasy, its easy to slip in and out of stolen cars. |
| From: |
chimp on August 31, 2006 @ 11:13 am |
| Comment: |
ah freddy at last its good to see someone ready to admit the italo greaseball way. if youre
lucky maybe one day you will come back as a german |
| From: |
Silvio on September 12, 2006 @ 3:38 pm |
| Comment: |
chimp,
Stop cursing people by asking if they will be coming back as a German!!!
German men are the curse of nature!!! |
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