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More Italian Shorts
Posted by: Dirtyjokesinc Staff on January 5, 2004 @ 5:59 pm
Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid?
A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil?
Q: What do you call an Italian with an IQ of 170?
A: Sicily.
Q. How does an Italian get into an honest business?
A. Usually through the skylight. |
Add your own comment
| From: |
Tania on October 10, 2004 @ 8:55 pm |
| Comment: |
Those jokes are funny but mean........i love the 2nd one.....that one is hilarious!!! |
| From: |
HAHAHA on October 16, 2004 @ 10:21 pm |
| Comment: |
Very funny mother facker |
| From: |
Vince on December 3, 2004 @ 9:35 am |
| Comment: |
First joke funny second joke insulting to Sicilians such as myself and third one is very true and very funny. |
| From: |
Rick on December 6, 2004 @ 1:35 pm |
| Comment: |
1st joke is funney, 2nd was offensive (I guess because I am Sicilian), the 3rd joke I passed along to others as I thought it was pretty funney as well. |
| From: |
wop slayer on December 10, 2004 @ 12:34 am |
| Comment: |
i thought the jokes were good.
ps italians are pussies |
| From: |
italiano on December 12, 2004 @ 8:04 pm |
| Comment: |
pussies?
bwhahahaha
its like saying: jenna jameson is a virgin.
yeah right...al mafiosos and sicilian are pusies.
why dont you go tell em to their faces and see their pussy reaction.
bwhahaha the 20s-30-40s where still not enought for yo americans to understand?
silly ignorant guy.... |
| From: |
italiano on December 24, 2004 @ 6:16 pm |
| Comment: |
yo mamas a bitch!!!!! |
| From: |
italiano on December 24, 2004 @ 6:17 pm |
| Comment: |
yo mamas da bitch dat like to eat italian pussy!!!!!! |
| From: |
WTF!? on January 18, 2005 @ 11:41 am |
| Comment: |
hey "Mr. italiano." note the sarcasm there asshole. all mafiosos and sicilians are pussies, "they-a gotta be-a part-a of a crowda" to start shit. take any one of those fuckers out of their natural shitfucking environment and put out in the real world and see if they got the balls to start shit, if do stupid enough to pull anything they’ll get their asses kicked, either that or the cops are gonna come and haul his ass away, much to the amusement of a cheering crowd of bystanders happy as hell to see some wop asshole getting what he deserves. |
| From: |
Tina on January 24, 2005 @ 9:46 pm |
| Comment: |
1st joke ok the rest are stupid. I’m not offended just not laughing.
Wop slayer your girl must of been taken by an italian guy you ass!!!
Ah you make my ass twich.
|
| From: |
SicilianHottie on January 28, 2005 @ 11:09 pm |
| Comment: |
i still dont get # 2..acorrding to you other sicilians it must be inulting..stupid jealous motherfuckers.. |
| From: |
Mr.wop on February 5, 2005 @ 10:04 pm |
| Comment: |
u white trash hicks go back and fuck your black dadz and please don’t forget your brother |
| From: |
WTF!? on February 7, 2005 @ 7:15 am |
| Comment: |
to " mr. wop" go back to dago land and start fucking your own greasy, shit colored, sasquatch of a sister/mom. oh and don’t forget to beat her too. everyone know you wops LOVE to wife bash. after you’re done, please just kill yourself so that society can have one less wop asshole to deal with. fucker. |
| From: |
Drew on February 16, 2005 @ 12:22 pm |
| Comment: |
Go fuck yourself WTF. You are the biggest vagina on this board, with some severe emotional, and insecurity issues. Furthermore, you have absolutley no concept of what you’re talking about, but I guess that’s simply attributed to the way those derelicts you call your parents raised you. I feel very sorry for you. |
| From: |
WTF!? on February 21, 2005 @ 10:33 pm |
| Comment: |
drew you are one dumb bitch. i have great parents and a great family. i know exactly what i’n talking about because i went through all that shit with italians growing up. those assholes love to fuck with anyone who isn’t italian. they think that they’re such hot shit. and seeing as how you got so pissed over what i had to say you’re probaly some bigoted wop bitch who’s just trying to cover up for the rest of your fucked up race. piss off. |
| From: |
wophater on February 27, 2005 @ 10:28 pm |
| Comment: |
fuck fucking wop jew fucks |
| From: |
wophater on February 27, 2005 @ 10:35 pm |
| Comment: |
fuck fucking wop jew fucks |
| From: |
Mafiaso! on March 10, 2005 @ 10:35 am |
| Comment: |
italians are the most fucking craziest people...you fuck with one you fuck with the whole family |
| From: |
AunnaMaria' on March 12, 2005 @ 3:01 pm |
| Comment: |
Don’t make fun of italian’s u crazy fucks!! Everyone knows were the best!!
Mafia bitch!!
(ps i’m 100% Italian) |
| From: |
Sam on March 26, 2005 @ 11:20 pm |
| Comment: |
Your language says a lot about your character and your Italianess! Please don’t ask me to explain that if it’s difficult for your to grasp the concept.
|
| From: |
ERINGOBRAGH on March 28, 2005 @ 10:08 pm |
| Comment: |
Irish will kick the living hell out of anyone |
| From: |
Joe R. on March 28, 2005 @ 10:26 pm |
| Comment: |
Northern Italian people and culture are not represented in America. 95% of Americans (including so-called "Italian-Americans) have no clue of who Lombards, Venetians, Piemontese, Ligurians, Tuscans, etc. even are.
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| From: |
American on March 29, 2005 @ 12:31 pm |
| Comment: |
iN RESPONSE TO ITALIAN GUY. WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT YOU TESTA MINCA. ROME FELL AND CONTRIBUTED NOTHING. BIG DEAL THE AQUA DUCT. YOU WATCH TOO MANY ROCKY MOVIES TO BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE CAN KICK ANYBODY’S ASS. YOUR ONLY GOOD AT PETTY THEFT, CRIME AND TRYING TO FUCK OVER OTHER PEOPLE. YOUR A BUNCH OF BACK STABBING ASSHOLES. I SEE YOUR A CANADIAN GREASER, STAY THERE GREAE BALL WE DONT WANT YOU SOUTH OF THEIR BORDER, BY THE WAY THE ONLY FAMOUS DAGOS HERE WERE EITHER GASSED, ELECTROCUTED, OR HUNG IN PRISON OR SHOT LIKE THE DOGS THEY WERE ON THE STREETS. ITALIANS ARE ONLY RECOGNIZED AS PUNK MOBSTERS. |
| From: |
Sadam on April 8, 2005 @ 7:07 pm |
| Comment: |
If you are so fiúcking great all you wops, how come you escaped this corrupt country of yours, what the fuck do you want, if you like Berlusconi, they fiilthy hookers in Napels, the pick pockets, the petty thives, the the coward attitude.......hey go back...they are still there.......and they are plenty.....get back there and fuck your grand mother and the horse she ride in on..... |
| From: |
Mr italian on April 10, 2005 @ 10:46 pm |
| Comment: |
umm, my family and I are from southern italy, we lived their for thouslands of years, but everyone in my family has blue eyes and blonde hair. so are you promoting to us as non whites? i think not |
| From: |
GrkGod on April 12, 2005 @ 3:25 am |
| Comment: |
What’s up everyone I’m not hatin i’m Greek/Italian!
Go to my site www.freewebs.com/grkgod/ sign my guest book while your there.
-A.P.D.- |
| From: |
italiano per sempre on May 1, 2005 @ 1:49 pm |
| Comment: |
ehhh u dumb fucks, whats up with "italians r not white" ????
my dad is sicilian and even him claims himself white, even tho he looks just like a latino.
But we, italians, are europeans, that means white... ALL RIGHT?
anyways, if u claim urself bein an italian... u hav to be born n raised there... so stop sayin ur italian if ur from NYC ok??
ciao putanas ;-)
Forza italiaaaaaaaaaaa |
| From: |
italiano per davvero on May 23, 2005 @ 1:31 pm |
| Comment: |
italiano per sempre, that’s EXACTLY the point.
First. I don’t want to try to separate anyone from his roots, but frankly i find all this "italians are white or not?" topic a big loss of time.
Expecially nowadays, expecially over there in America where you are all mixed up and say ciao putanas (which is italian mixed up with spanish, because the plural of puTTanas is puTTanE, ask your father)....
Second. Italian and spanish are VERY similar....a lot of italians go on holiday in Spain and can easily speak to lovely spanish chicks because both derive from LATIN.
|
| From: |
Atilla the Hun on June 25, 2005 @ 7:32 pm |
| Comment: |
Nothing sums up Italians better than this: Italy invaded ETHIOPIA in World War II. That
really took balls.
Your cuisine was stolen by Marco Polo from the Chineese and your Gods were stolen
from the Greeks and then the Jews. Any genetic link you once had to the decadent
shithole of ancient Rome was raped out of you by the Goths, the Vandals, the Huns, the
Normans, the Moors, etc, CENTURIES AGO. |
| From: |
Stronzo on June 27, 2005 @ 12:52 pm |
| Comment: |
You wish you were Sicilian mother fucker! Puntana! |
| From: |
sexysicilian on June 28, 2005 @ 9:20 am |
| Comment: |
all italian men are sexy i am 100% italian
all you haters out there i should come to your house put you in a body bag and throw you over the bridge
ps Vin Diesel is italian and he is SEXY damn |
| From: |
Audra on July 1, 2005 @ 10:59 pm |
| Comment: |
This is ridiculous. I am looking at the sheer amount of stupidity on this forum and I’m saying to myself "I have to add my two cents."
First of all, before many of you badmouth Italians, remember that the United States was NAMED after an Italian. Amerigo Vespucci. Ring a bell, anyone? Secondly, the United States became what it is today because of an Italian man-- Christopher Colombus, or better yet- Cristoforo Colombo-- who promoted it’s riches. Take note: I said PROMOTED. Not raped and stole, much like many of you "white" Americans’ ancestors. It was not an Italian who took Native American women and raped them. Was it an Italian who burned down whole villages?
|
| From: |
Audra on July 1, 2005 @ 11:02 pm |
| Comment: |
I hate how Italian Americans can take such a beautiful culture and distort it until it becomes a mere shadow of its former self. Have some respect for the culture that your ancestors treasured, cafoni! I’m sure your great grandparents would ROLL IN THEIR GRAVES to hear you speak of the Mafia so happily. I guarantee you if you all spent one day with the Sicilian mafia you would be pissing in your pants like the little punks that you are.
I am a PROUD Sicilian. I denounce the Mafia and any "Sicilian" who gloats in the fact that the Mafia started in Sicily. Only an idiot would be proud of such a thing. |
| From: |
Audra on July 1, 2005 @ 11:02 pm |
| Comment: |
It really makes me sad that this is the way we allow ourselves to be portrayed. Nevermind the fact that Rome was possibly the best civilization to ever have existed, that fashion is dictated by what’s happening in Italy, that the Renaissance was born out of our glorious country, the best food in the world comes from Italy, and the art in Italy is without parallel. It angers and saddens me that these people are chosen to represent the majority of Italian Americans. Go back home and live in your mafia fantasy because I know I will be out earning an honest day’s wages.
Lastly, if you are going to correct someone in Italian *cough cough ITALIANO PER DAVVERO*, at least SPEAK IT CORRECTLY YOURSELF. Porca troia!
Ed ora, me ne vado. Io sono siciliana ed orgogliosa... non voglio nessun combattimento. Non mi vergogno mai di essere siciliana, americana ED italiana! Viva la Trinacria, l’Italia, e gli Stati Uniti! |
| From: |
Audra on July 1, 2005 @ 11:06 pm |
| Comment: |
Actually, before I sign off, allow me to say one last thing:
Those of you who are "Sicilian", please muster up an ounce of respect for yourselves. You are all ignoranti. Typical illeterati, really. Please know that the Mafia is killing your country. Oh, that’s right.. it ISN’T your country, because you are Americans. Turn off the 60 minute racial slur called the Sopranos, stop calling salsa "gravy", stop saying "fugghedaboutit" and putting grease in your hair. Why don’t you go drink some red wine, visit a museum, write an opera and make love? ;-) |
| From: |
l'italiano non medio on July 1, 2005 @ 11:12 pm |
| Comment: |
Audra is completely right. The majority of young Italian Americans don’t know shit about Italy. I can walk into any Italian neighborhood in the country, speak in Italian, and very few people would be able to respond back to me. What I would see, however, would be worshipers of the Gotti family and the sopranos. Let me tell you something all of you terroni, lets drop those Gotti boys off in the Scampia neighborhood in Naples, where the Mafia controlls everything and you’ll see how fast they shit their pants and run home crying to their whore of a mother. The Mafia in Italy is all about violence and supressing the poor local people. IT IS NOT GLAMOROUS. You Italian Americans who worship the Mafia... it’s YOUR fault that these jokes persist. I’d put you and those stupid American hick rednecks in the same catagory, not different ones. You aren’t REAL Italians. You’re bastardized. Period. |
| From: |
Audra on July 1, 2005 @ 11:16 pm |
| Comment: |
L’italiano non medio, sono d’accordo con te al 100%.
By the way, we should start a boycott of that OTHER 30 minute racial slur, Growing Up Gotti. I don’t know how they can sit there, on television, and pretend like their grandfather hasn’t killed people. Really mind boggling. What’s worse is this sick obsession that young girls have with the Gotti boys. I would personally like to drop them off in Partinico, Palermo. I would take great pleasure in seeing them shake in their Timberland boots when a mafioso thinks they have a pretty little culo, if you know what I mean ;-)
It makes me sick to my stomach. I think you and I shall go to the opera while these cafoni stay home and pretend they’re in the Mafia. |
| From: |
l'italiano non medio on July 1, 2005 @ 11:19 pm |
| Comment: |
"I would take great pleasure in seeing them shake in their Timberland boots when a mafioso thinks they have a pretty little culo, if you know what I mean ;-) "
I GOTTI INCULATI
HAHAUAHUAHAUAHAUHAUAHAUAHAUAHAUAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAA
I’d love to go to the opera with you... we’ll watch an opera of the Sicilian genius Vincenzo Bellini.... while the cafoni go watch something about Al Capone on A&E. |
| From: |
Audra on July 1, 2005 @ 11:25 pm |
| Comment: |
Mi piacerebbe vedere un "Gotti boy" quando lui sia ben scopato da parte di un mafioso siciliano, o meglio, napoletano (i napoletani sono scopatori, no?).
La mediocrità... la scemenza... la grande stupidità della famiglia Gotti mi fa vomatare. Io so che i Gotti boy sono sfacciati al 100%. Allora.. andiamo! Portiamoli a Scampia! |
| From: |
l'italiano non medio on July 1, 2005 @ 11:30 pm |
| Comment: |
"Mi piacerebbe vedere un "Gotti boy" quando lui sia ben scopato da parte di un mafioso siciliano, o meglio, napoletano (i napoletani sono scopatori, no?).
La mediocrità... la scemenza... la grande stupidità della famiglia Gotti mi fa vomatare. Io so che i Gotti boy sono sfacciati al 100%. Allora.. andiamo! Portiamoli a Scampia!·"
Quegli strunz’ non si meritano di essersi chiamati umani. Sono una specie di gorilla, scimmia, o scimpanzè. Sono fatti di una razza umanoide primitiva. Vorrei vedere i mafiosi torturare i ragazzi gotti. Non sono così cattivissimo, ma mi darebbe tanto piacere! |
| From: |
Heat on July 2, 2005 @ 12:18 am |
| Comment: |
Audra and I’taliano non medio, thank you both very much for speakinf your minds and sticking the truth in the faces of all these ignorant wannabes. I’d like to add to that list of mafia bullshit that so many of these bastardized italians in this country emulate:
the godfather
goodfellas
casino
oh and let’s not forget the way too hyped up boxing travesty known as rocky. |
| From: |
Heat on July 2, 2005 @ 12:23 am |
| Comment: |
perhaps you two can shed some light on why these morons (who can’t even do something as SIMPLE as put together a couple of well strung sentences) claim to be superior to every other group of people and they think everyone "wishes" they could be italian; despite the fact that these little shitheads don’t even speak italian, have never even been to italy, and as you both stated, only identify with and have SEVERE misconceptions about the negative aspects of italian society.
I’m not italian but it’s refreshing to see a couple of REAL italianos come out here and set matters straight. if you two plan to stick around maybe you can answer some of my questions. |
| From: |
Heat on July 2, 2005 @ 12:27 am |
| Comment: |
BTW, for all you ignorant greaseballs out there, you better drop this "tough guy" image you keep jerking off over and stop trying to make all non-italians think they owe you something just because your great-great-great-great, ect ancestors (whom you have abosolutely no ties to) made great achievements as individuals.
as far as the mafia, you think they give a shit about you losers, GET REAL. if you aren’t making money for them, they couldn’t give two shits about your punk asses. in fact, they’d be more likely to "whack" you dumbasses for getting in their way then they are to any ordinary civlians. |
| From: |
lania abat'e on July 2, 2005 @ 4:21 pm |
| Comment: |
yea... to all those italian hatin bitches that say italians are white, naaaa, we aint white, white people fend for themselves. you fuck with one of us italians, you fuckin wit the whole damn family. italians are more black than white you idiots.
~*~MAFIABITCH4YOASS~*~
errbody knows what it is |
| From: |
Heat on July 3, 2005 @ 12:33 am |
| Comment: |
Audra, in answer to the question you asked in your very 1st post, yes, italians did rape women and burn down whole villages. They have been doing that ever since the days of ancient rome. And when rome started expanding from a republic to full-fledged empire, they commited MASS atrocities against the peoples who’s homeland they invaded. They would burn villages down to the ground, destroy livestock and grain, poison wells, put innocent civilians (including children) to the sword, and yes they even raped women.
In addition, whatever survivors may have survived roman onslaughts were sold as slaves, therefore, they were forcibly separated from their families and countrymen and sold as slaves. They would never see their homelands again. |
| From: |
Heat on July 3, 2005 @ 12:43 am |
| Comment: |
Others, were thrown into the coliseum to quench the bloodthirsty roman senators and citizens as well. Often these unfortunate captives were either given a few meager arms and pitted against legionaires, or they would be thrown in with hungry, staving lions.
Either way, the outcomes were obvious. During WWII, italy invaded countries such as ethiopia and gunned down natives armed with mere bows, aroows, and machetes with tanks and machine guns. In addition, fascist italy also helped the nazis exterminate jews and other declared "undesirables" by their totalitarian regimes.
I mean, I hate to break the sad truth to you, but as a people italians have always had a history of compulsive, animalistic violence. If there was an equivalent of criminal court back in ancient times, as there is in the Hague, then the romans would have been certainly tried and executed for crimes against humanity. |
| From: |
Audra on July 3, 2005 @ 1:05 am |
| Comment: |
Hello, heat. I respect your comments. In regards to Italians burning down whole villages, I was showing an example of the Native American issue. I didn’t say Italians never burnt down villages, which I do not make excuses for. It is a horrible, horrible thing.
I was simply pointing out the fact that the so called "Americans" on here who were making shots at Italians were not of innocent history, either.
Glad I could clear it up. |
| From: |
Audra on July 3, 2005 @ 1:10 am |
| Comment: |
And if I could just interject one more time: how can we blame the ignorance of today’s Italian American on the warfare of a civilization as great as Rome? Yes, there were many atrocities during the time of the Romans. However, there were atrocities during many, if not all, civilizations. What the Romans did thousands of years ago has nothing to do with the ignorance today’s Italian Americans spew.
In making my post, I simply wanted to illustrate the fact that someone who comes on here calling themself an American (or having a username with "American" in it) and then in the same sentence denouncing all Italians as killers and ruthless is like the pot calling the kettle black. American history was not peaceful either, my friend.
I do not defend violence. In fact, I am against it. I, as well as L’italiano non medio, would be very happy to have an intelligent discussion on this subject. |
| From: |
l'italiano non medio on July 3, 2005 @ 1:18 am |
| Comment: |
The histories of every nation are filled with bloodshed. It is pure injustice to judge one nation based on soley their crimes. Every nation has had its triumphs, every nation has had its tragedies. It has come to the point that everyone can play the oppressor, and everyone can play the victim. My grandfather did participate in the 1935 war against Ethiopia. Am I proud of this? No. It was made by a stupid political leader, and because of it, many Italians became poorer due to the needs for funding of this war. We, the Italian people, were victims of this war as well. The people of this world are all victims of the decisions made by the very few.
It is our responsibility to recognize this, and not blame the innocent. |
| From: |
Heat on July 3, 2005 @ 12:04 pm |
| Comment: |
Audra and I’italiano non medio, thank you both for your INTELLIGENT AND CIVILIZED replies, it’s nice to see genuine italians make comments here instead of those bastard idiots who have watched the sopranos or the godfather way too much.
To clear up my side of the story, I was in no way implying that italians were/are the only people to ever commit atrocities. However I was merely answering Audra’s question at the end of her first post (look it up if you wish).
Audra, I don’t blame the ignorance of todays italian american on the savagery of ancient rome. In fact I think the romans would be shocked if they were to know that some of their descendants had fallen so far. |
| From: |
Heat on July 3, 2005 @ 12:08 pm |
| Comment: |
I don’t mean to take another poke at rome, but, we all know that empires are built on the blood, suffering, and death, of subjugated peoples. Whatever "achievements" made by those regimes should NOT overshadow the acts of brutality they commit. That’s all I’m saying, people have a tendency to glorify empires as utopias without looking at their darker sides. I personally say that those achievements could have been made WITHOUT all the needless blooshed.
Since neither of you condone violence, then I’ll assume that you would most likely agree with that last statement. |
| From: |
Heat on July 3, 2005 @ 12:13 pm |
| Comment: |
As for the "italian americans" of today, they don’t even consider themselves american; they’re so caught up in the "mafia tough guy" image that many of them are beginning to see themselves as a superior group of people. They just flat out have serious delusions of grandeur and the only way they can vent is behind a computer screen. Either that or assemble and gang of mafia wannabe thugs and go on baseball bat beatings against smaller groups of people. It’s pathetic and you shouldn’t worry too much about it.
On a completely unrelated note, it is nice to be able to have an intelligent discussion on this site. Happy 4th of July! |
| From: |
Audra on July 3, 2005 @ 11:32 pm |
| Comment: |
I could not agree more, Heat.
:)
|
| From: |
Heat on July 4, 2005 @ 11:28 pm |
| Comment: |
So, how was your July 4th? |
| From: |
lupetto on July 14, 2005 @ 4:31 pm |
| Comment: |
I have been reading this site.
Thank you Aura and italiano non medio to share the truth about our country. Italian americans are not italian, so they don’t know any better. I grew up in NYC in the late eightes, where I attended italian high school... It was full of italian americans thugs mafia john gotti stupid wannabes!!! I grew up around them... They didn’t even know who Garibaldi was......
Keep eating pepperoni pizza........
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| From: |
marcello on July 29, 2005 @ 12:40 pm |
| Comment: |
How sad and demented most of these exchanges are!we certainly live in an ugly world and this siteshows it by being offensive to anyone with a sense of dignity and respect for different races and ethnic groups. I will report this site to the antidefamation league; it is the least I can do. marcello |
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