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Nascar Redneck Jokes
Posted by: Patrick on August 27, 2004 @ 12:48 pm
Heres some good NASCAR Redneck Jokes.....
You Might Be A NASCAR Redneck If. . . . . .
You think the last four words of the National Anthem are "Gentleman
start your engines!"....
You think heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida....
You’ve ever written Richard Petty’s name on a presidential ballot....
You’re not actually able to read The Richard Petty Story, but you sure
do like to look at the pictures....
You have the word NASCAR in your wedding vows....
You go to a stock car race and don’t need a program....
You have a lifesize cutout of Dale Earnhardt in your Living Room....
You know who is actually leading the Winston Cup series....
Your favorite NASCAR souvenir was a direct result of a crash in turn
three....
You spell out NASCAR in Christmas lights....
You can remember the entire NASCAR series schedule but can’t remember
your wifes birthday, kids birthday, or anniversary....
You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can’t
remember how old your children are....
You think the most effective form of advertising is on the side of a car
going 200 mph.....round and round and round....
The word "Bank" makes you think of turn three at Daytona....
Your wife’s nickname is "Lugnut"....
You’ve spent more time on the top of a Winnebago than in one....
You know the "Back way" to Talledega....
You can change a tire faster than you can change a diaper....
You hit the wall when Earnhardt hits the wall....
You make engine noises while watching racing on TV....
10 - I would like to thank the Devil for my win today....
9 - I lost because my pit crew is bunch of morons.
8 - I could win 10 races a year too, if my sponsors weren’t such a cheap
bunch of......
7 - I wouldn’t feel safe, if it weren’t for that restrictor plate.
6 - You better put that down or Jeff Gordon will come over here and kick
your butt.
5 - My crew chief is an idiot.
4 - Has anyone seen my Jerri-Curl?
3 - We would have won, but Jesus loves Jeff Gordon more.
2 - (At Winner’s Circle) Talk Later, Pee NOW!
1 - My car sucked today! We’re taking a wrecking ball to it ASAP!
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Add your own comment
| From: |
washburn on September 9, 2004 @ 4:45 pm |
| Comment: |
funny until i got to the end
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| From: |
Nicole on December 1, 2004 @ 1:03 pm |
| Comment: |
I love Jeff Gordon! Yea... God loves him more than most but who cares!?!? |
| From: |
"E" fan on January 20, 2005 @ 11:30 am |
| Comment: |
nothing funny about earnhardt hitting the wall. |
| From: |
me on March 30, 2005 @ 6:47 pm |
| Comment: |
woohoo someone else to loves jeff gordon nicole u rock |
| From: |
Ass Kicker on June 12, 2005 @ 7:15 am |
| Comment: |
The last 10 SUCKED ASS. But the first ones were refreshing! |
| From: |
Mrs Terry on October 4, 2005 @ 8:33 am |
| Comment: |
Even though people are mean, God still loves them and can help them
to change.
LET’S PRAY
****************************************************
Dear God, thank you for loving each one of us
even though we don’t deserve your love. Help us
to love others even when they are mean and to
remember that you can change anyone.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Pray for street bully.
Pray all mama & daddies will pray for their Childrens, Love their Childrens. Teach Childrens right from wrong. Read Bible to There Childrens, Tell Childrens Jesus Loves Them, So do mama & daddies
Pray People Keep Dogs in There Own Yard
(A VERSE TO LEARN ) God said: "Love your neighbour as yourself" (Matthew 22:39 -
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| From: |
zach on October 18, 2005 @ 7:18 am |
| Comment: |
you dumb ass yankies don’t you know that dale jr is the best racer GIT-R-DONE |
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