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Michael and the Judge
Posted by: Harley Hunny Bunny on March 23, 2004 @ 9:43 am
| Michael Jackson goes up to the judge and tells the judge "I am dating 28 year olds now. The judge says " Why the change". Michael says " There is no change at all I am dating 20 .... 8 year olds. |
Add your own comment
| From: |
chica on April 12, 2004 @ 4:43 pm |
| Comment: |
that’s very stupid and wrong U NEED TO STOP |
| From: |
Brittany on April 12, 2004 @ 10:41 pm |
| Comment: |
that was wrong! |
| From: |
Scott on April 13, 2004 @ 3:10 am |
| Comment: |
Hell Yeah!!! Keep em coming! |
| From: |
Derek on April 13, 2004 @ 7:35 pm |
| Comment: |
It was so funny i cried! |
| From: |
eric on April 13, 2004 @ 11:30 pm |
| Comment: |
that was stupit shut up
|
| From: |
maximiliano on April 14, 2004 @ 5:24 pm |
| Comment: |
its only a joke, but not so funny |
| From: |
tyrone on April 15, 2004 @ 3:48 pm |
| Comment: |
this joke was off the hinges |
| From: |
Adam on April 18, 2004 @ 11:04 pm |
| Comment: |
that was cheaper than your mom’s price on the corner
|
| From: |
mike on April 19, 2004 @ 10:13 pm |
| Comment: |
i got 1
knock knock
whos there
little boy blew
little boy blew who
michael jackson |
| From: |
mutt on April 20, 2004 @ 3:23 pm |
| Comment: |
lame and overdone |
| From: |
Scott on April 21, 2004 @ 11:50 pm |
| Comment: |
How do you know Micheal Jackson is throwing a party?
His driveway is full of big wheels. |
| From: |
Myriah on April 24, 2004 @ 4:52 pm |
| Comment: |
Heres a joke....
What does Micheal Jackson and santa clause have in common?
They both leave little boys rooms with empty sacks!!!
Thats a good one!! |
| From: |
Myriah on April 24, 2004 @ 4:52 pm |
| Comment: |
Heres a joke....
What does Micheal Jackson and santa clause have in common?
They both leave little boys rooms with empty sacks!!!
Thats a good one!! |
| From: |
BLACKMAN on April 26, 2004 @ 5:52 am |
| Comment: |
THAT IS A WANK JOKE U BELLEND |
| From: |
Yuri Pongo on April 26, 2004 @ 5:53 am |
| Comment: |
This joke is shite. I’l kick your ass you dick head |
| From: |
JOHNNY on April 26, 2004 @ 6:51 pm |
| Comment: |
THAT SHIT WAS ASSUME BITCT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| From: |
leigh on April 27, 2004 @ 7:42 pm |
| Comment: |
that was the lamest load of shite ive ever heard. id give up with the jokes!!!!!!!! |
| From: |
ASS on May 3, 2004 @ 3:57 pm |
| Comment: |
U SUCK MAN |
| From: |
lina on May 6, 2004 @ 11:20 am |
| Comment: |
i jus seen this joke on the other page
|
| From: |
Henry. H on May 6, 2004 @ 9:14 pm |
| Comment: |
Michael jackson - 98% plastic, 2% child sperm |
| From: |
Henry. H on May 6, 2004 @ 9:14 pm |
| Comment: |
Michael Jackson - 98% plastic, 2% kid sperm |
| From: |
jt on May 9, 2004 @ 5:28 pm |
| Comment: |
itfs funny because its true1. DEAL WITH IT! |
| From: |
kg may24, 2004@1:10 on May 25, 2004 @ 1:14 pm |
| Comment: |
that was the stupdidest dumbest craziest retardest bunch of bull shit i’ve eva seen and if you don’t like what i said lick a zebra’s balls |
| From: |
shaun on May 25, 2004 @ 10:43 pm |
| Comment: |
hey man that was funny shit dont listen to those haters man. |
| From: |
BeBop on May 25, 2004 @ 11:04 pm |
| Comment: |
That was pretty damn funny! Shaun’s right; don’t listen to all those other people. |
| From: |
gavin on June 9, 2004 @ 3:55 pm |
| Comment: |
what the fuck is wrong with you people its called www.DIRTYJOKESINC.com if your going to get insulted like that, what the fuck are you doing on this site? |
| From: |
dencolsean on July 29, 2004 @ 2:29 am |
| Comment: |
i poop to much |
| From: |
jp on August 4, 2004 @ 8:48 am |
| Comment: |
i heard that joke three different ways |
| From: |
American and Proud on August 21, 2004 @ 12:33 am |
| Comment: |
Hey guys, now I am a proud American. Now I concede that most of us have our eyes a little crossed. Perhaps we were fucked in the ass
by our pappas one too many times. Maybe the leader of our country is a fucking redneck handicap. But come on, we can’t help that we
are the bottom of the human gene pool. We think we are tough because we have lots of guns and shoot poor people that haven’t eaten
in weeks, of course we get a self confidence from this. Our media lies to us and makes us scared of our own shadow.
And god knows we are materialistic and fat as hell. I mean, our chicks are FAT! That should make you feel sorry for us.
I mean, why does everyone else on earth think Americans are nothing but slimy pieces of rat shit?!!! |
| From: |
Tarik Jackson on December 19, 2004 @ 10:28 am |
| Comment: |
Michael jackson bstill the n 1 singer in all the time, so stop your fucking bad words |
| From: |
Rachid Moroccan fan on December 19, 2004 @ 10:29 am |
| Comment: |
Stop it , mike is the best go to : www.freewebs.com/tarikjacksonworld
|
| From: |
jungle buny on February 13, 2005 @ 9:49 pm |
| Comment: |
that was so mean. im just fuckin with u micheal jacko is a fucking paedo so he can derilicht my balls
wankers |
| From: |
ciara mc glinchey on February 13, 2005 @ 9:56 pm |
| Comment: |
i luv micheal upthe bum.mmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnn hes so cute and i am r eally a man and i fuck him soooooooooo hard that he cries and bleeds like his little children |
| From: |
hold up on February 26, 2005 @ 5:29 pm |
| Comment: |
I NEVER wanna see that word come out your mouth lil girl. You shouldnt even be here reading this . If you cant take the heat get up out the kitchen |
| From: |
~^^THe MAd HatTer^^~ on March 2, 2005 @ 4:49 am |
| Comment: |
Wat up BITCH’s -
ya MJ is a fucKing Queer lord
My homies pop him in the ass when we find him in the slam
first we fuck the bitch in the ass with my 9inch DICK, then we slit his throat
-tat mo fo ganna die like the shit he is, word up G
west side mi niGars |
| From: |
NiGgA on March 11, 2005 @ 7:49 pm |
| Comment: |
AyO....that is a good wun...micheal jackson is a lyddle rapist ne way ...keep on goin on the white ass nigga |
| From: |
NiGgA on March 11, 2005 @ 7:49 pm |
| Comment: |
AyO....that is a good wun...micheal jackson is a lyddle rapist ne way ...keep on goin on the white ass nigga |
| From: |
Bitch ass on March 11, 2005 @ 7:56 pm |
| Comment: |
i gotz a betta joke:
Q: "Why dnt black people have dreams ne more?"
A:"Cause the last one got shot"
-Martin Luther King-
Q:"Why are all black people tall?
A:"Cause their Negros!
-their Knee Grows-
hahaha u cant beat dat homie |
| From: |
Mature Adult on March 23, 2005 @ 8:03 am |
| Comment: |
OH.... ONE MORE THING....
YOU’LL PROBABLY RESPOND TO THIS WITH MORE CHILDISH RESPONSES, MERELY TO AMUSE THE OTHER ASSHOLES ON HERE... DO I CARE?...... "NO!"
AND YOUR "WIGGER" WAY OF TALKING IS SO NOT COOL... NEITHER IS WEARING THOSE TIRED CLOTHES YOU CALL GHETTO, OR THE "DONE BEFORE" 1970S DISCO BELLBOTTOMS..
WE DID THAT SHIT WHEN IT WAS FRESH AND A "NEW" TREND, ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU "KIDS" ARE JUST IMMITATING A STYLE THAT WAS DONE TO DEATH AND IS NOW CONSIDERED STUPID TO PEOPLE THAT
HAVE SOME STYLE SENSE... GET REAL KIDS, YOU LOOK DUMB AS HELL IN THEM CLOTHES, AND WE’RE LAUGHING AT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACKS WHEN WE SEE YOU WALKING THE MALLS IN THEM DUDS.. HAHAHAHA! |
| From: |
Sticky Fingers J. Ic on March 25, 2005 @ 12:35 am |
| Comment: |
Shut the Fuck Up "Mature Adult"!!!
AND STOP USING THE DAMN ’CAPS LOCK’ KEY. FUCKER! I hope you get AIDS and die Bitch.
BTW: If your soo "Mature", then why do you act in rage of YELLING and stupid comebacks - not to forget you had to POST TWICE. Stop being a DumbAss you fucking DickBag. |
| From: |
Mature Adult on March 25, 2005 @ 4:22 am |
| Comment: |
SEE, I TOLD YA!... ^SEE ABOVE REPLY FROM A JUVENILE DELINQUENT ^ |
| From: |
Big Playah J. Silk on March 25, 2005 @ 8:12 pm |
| Comment: |
To whiney "Mature Adult",
DON’T JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK I WANT TO HEAR. TYPE IT ALL IN CAPS. |
| From: |
Mature Adult Suks As on March 26, 2005 @ 12:15 am |
| Comment: |
hahaha, tis iz rel funy Mature Adult my dick.kep talkn guys tis iz no longr joks abot MJ but instd jst som dumbass wo tik he iz "MATURE". Gt a lif. your Post made me lagh! |
| From: |
Shut Up Mature Adult on March 26, 2005 @ 12:58 am |
| Comment: |
WHO BROKE YOUR CAPSLOCK KEY? |
| From: |
Mature Adult on March 26, 2005 @ 9:09 pm |
| Comment: |
HEY MATURE A SUKS AS... LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.. WHERE DID YOU LEARN YOUR MORON STYLE OF TYPING?... I BET YOU EVEN TaLk LiKe ThIs HuH?
real MATURE... you Gt a Lif...... HAHAHAHA, MORON
AND IT SEEMS I STRUCK A CHORD WITH A FEW OF YOU ON THIS LAME-ASSED BLOG SITE.. YOU ALL GET UPSET WHEN SOMEONE TELLS THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR WAYWARD AND SHAMELESS STYLE OF LIVING, BUT I DIGRESS, I’M NOT HERE TO ARGUE WITH YOU, THAT WOULD BE STOOPING TO YOUR
IMMATURE LEVEL... NOW, MOVE ALONG YOU BOZOS, I’VE GOT A BUSINESS TO RUN AND A LINCOLN TO GET SERVICED IN THE SHOP, WHILE YOU ALL SIT ONLINE ON YOUR *DADDY-BOUGHT* COMPUTERS AND FIGIT FOR SOMETHING TO DOWITH YOUR MANGY LIVES, BECAUSE YOUR *BORED* (P.S.- GET A LIFE) |
| From: |
Big Playah J. Silk on April 3, 2005 @ 4:31 am |
| Comment: |
to Mature Adult AKA Moron ...
DumbAss! If you only really knew what was going on behind the senses... You don’t even have a clue or a guess to the real truth. I bet you still play with legos. Go download something.
Stop lying to yourself; this is "Dirty Jokes", not a liberal forum for activists such as yourself.
BTW: tis ez cald "web cht", (AKA - IRC talk) get it straight.
|
| From: |
UnMature Adult on April 3, 2005 @ 4:46 am |
| Comment: |
~^^~*Official Retard Reply Form For "Mature Adult"*~^^~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear:
[X] Newbie.
[X] Clueless Newbie.
[X] Loser.
[X] Lamer.
[X] Jackass.
[X] Wiener.
[X] Lame AOL’er.
[X] Moron.
[X] Pedophile.
[X] Flamer.
[X] Whiner.
[X] Dumbass.
You have received this Official Retard Reply Form because:
[X] You don’t know which forum to post in.
[X] You posted a useless thread.
[X] You posted false information.
[X] You posted something totally uninteresting.
[X] You posted an "YOU ALL SUCK" message.
[X] You are not civilized enough to post in these forums.
[X] YOU POSTED A MESSAGE WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS!
Your Punishment includes:
[X] Give up your given account.
[X] Must be banned.
[X] Actually post something constructive.
[X] Go to your room without dinner.
[X] Apologize to everybody on this forum.
[X] Watch 3 hours of the Brady Bunch.
[X] Go away for 1 month. |
| From: |
Funny Shit on April 3, 2005 @ 6:43 am |
| Comment: |
Q> How many times does 12 go into 35?
A> Ask Michael Jackson.
Q> What’s 6 + 46 + 5?
A> A threesome with Michael Jackson.
Q> What were Michael Jackson’s baby’s first words?
A> Which one’s mommy?
Michael Jackson decided to have a boy of his own because it’s too expensive to rent them at $2 Million a pop.
Q> How do we know Michael Jackson is guilty?
A> Several children have fingered him.
Q> How will Michael Jackson pay off his old boyfriends?
A> Liquefy some assets.
Q> Why does Michael Jackson like children so much?
A> He knows how they feel.
Q> What was the big break in the Michael Jackson molestation case?
A> A doctor did a rectal exam of one of the boys bringing charges and found a white glove.
Q> What is the most difficult thing to get out of little boys underwear?
A> Michael Jackson’s makeup. |
| From: |
Funny Shit on April 3, 2005 @ 6:49 am |
| Comment: |
Q> How does Michael Jackson keep his youth?
A> Pizza and Nintendo.
Q> Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A> He thought it was a delivery service.
Q> Where does Michael Jackson go to find a date?
A> Boys ’R Us
Q> What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A> A Michael Jackson slumber party.
Q> What’s "black-white" and purple?
A> Michael Jackson’s dick after a slumber party with a bunch of 6 year olds.
Q> How do you know when it’s bedtime at the Jackson residence?
A> When the big hand touches the little hand...
Q> What is Michael Jackson’s favorite game to play at night?
A> Hide the pickle in the pajamas.
Q> What child’s game does Michael Jackson Not allow to be played at his Neverland ranch?
A> Got your nose! (Put it back!)
Q> What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common?
A> They both like a little crack now and then. |
| From: |
Funny Shit on April 3, 2005 @ 6:52 am |
| Comment: |
MICHAEL JACKSON’S GREATEST HITS
Volume 1
Side One
1. Reach out and TOUCH Someone
2. Hey, there, Predator
3. Touch Me Once, Touch Me Twice, Touch Me Once Again
4. The Best Toys are Little Boys
5. The WACKO Touch
Side Two
1. Theme from Peter Pervert
2. He TOUCHED Me
3. He Let His Fingers Do the Walking
4. Come Open My FLY With Me
5. Theme from Woody The Pecker
Volume 2
Side One
1. Feeler
2. Put Your Hand in The Pants of Michael Jackson
3. Peter Pervert
4. The Boy Who Made Me Throw Up
5. Beat it and Eat It
Side Two
1. Full Moon at High Noon
2. I’m Dropping My Drawers Over You
3. I’m A Pervert
4. I’m Queer, I’m Not All Here
5. Groping the World
THE BEST OF MICHAEL JACKSON
Side One
1. It Was Masturbation
2. Feelings
3. Dance of the Pedophiles
4. Molesters’ March
5. That Queer Old Feeling
Side Two
1. Meat Beater’s Lament
2. Jack Off Jive
3. Those Roving Fingers
4. NUTcracker Suite
5. Peter Pervert’s Theme |
| From: |
Funny Shit on April 3, 2005 @ 6:54 am |
| Comment: |
Michael Jackson and Pee Wee Herman are have come out with a new video called... "I’ll beat it for you."
Q> How do you neuter Michael Jackson?
A> Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song.
Q> Where is Michael Jackson’s other glove?
A> In Brooke Shields’ pants.
Michael Jackson went to church and confessed "Forgive me father, for I have sinned with young boys". The priest replied "It’s OK, I have also."
The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he’ll have no choice but to make him a
priest.
Q> What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a Catholic priest?
A> Nothing
Q> What do Michael and Catholic school nuns have in common?
A> Both are a pain in the ass to kids.
Q> Why did Pepsi sign up Michael Jackson for their ads?
A> Because he likes the taste of a new generation. |
| From: |
Funny Shit on April 3, 2005 @ 6:55 am |
| Comment: |
Q> Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson?
A> Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!!
Q> What do Michael Jackson and broccoli have in common?
A> Both are force fed to little boys.
Q> What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?
A> About two dress sizes!!!
Q> How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A> From a catalogue.
Heard on Conan O’Brien, February 11, 2003:
Michael Jackson was upset when he heard that VH1 would replay his recent interview. He wanted it to play on Nickelodeon. |
| From: |
Funny Shit on April 3, 2005 @ 6:57 am |
| Comment: |
Top 10 Good Things About Being Married to Michael Jackson from David Letterman, August 02, 1994
10. When you get a few years older, good advice on plastic surgeons.
9. White sequined glove prevents greasy finger prints on fridge.
8. Fun to say, "Honey, could you moonwalk down to the shop n’ save for a quart of milk?"
7. After a day with the Jacksons, suddenly your Presley relatives seem normal.
6. None of those annoying demands for sex.
5. His squeeky ultrasonic voice keeps away mice.
4. As the King of Pop, he gets the 10% dinner discount at participating Red Lobster restaurants.
3. If he comes home with lipstick on his collar, you can be pretty sure it’s his own.
2. Never have to throw out leftovers with Liz dropping by.
1. Three words: CHRISTMAS WITH TITO. |
| From: |
Funny Shit on April 3, 2005 @ 6:59 am |
| Comment: |
Heard on David Letterman, August 27, 2003:
Michael Jackson came off a plane. He was wearing pajamas, carrying an umbrella and holding a battery-operated fan.
If he keeps this up, he could get a reputation for being weird.
Heard on Conan O’Brien, November 20, 2003:
Today Michael Jackson’s house was surrounded by police, and he was arrested. He was taken to jail and gave his fingerprints. His fingers were black for the first time in 15 years.
Heard on Conan O’Brien, November 21, 2003:
Michael Jackson was arrested yesterday. According to the Santa Barbara Police, Michael Jackson is 5’11" and weighs only 120 pounds... very skinny... Michael is able to keep his weight down because he only orders off the children’s menu. |
| From: |
Funny Shit on April 3, 2005 @ 7:00 am |
| Comment: |
Heard on Craig Kilborn, November 2003:
Michael Jackson turned himself into authorities today and now the court may take away his kids. Don’t worry, Michael’s working on a deal where he can dangle them on the weekends.
The saddest part of this Michael Jackson scandal is that all of this could have been avoided if he just stuck to grabbing his own crotch.
Earlier today, police raided the Neverland ranch. Michael Jackson was so upset he dangled himself over a balcony.
Several celebrities have stepped forward to defend Michael Jackson... Woody Harrelson, Roman Polanski, Pete Townsend.
I can sum up Michael Jackson’s legal defense in three words: dead man moonwalking.
Get a free T-shirt with every visit... "I SLEPT WITH MICHAEL JACKSON AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT"
Pic: http://williambader.com/mjtshirt.jpg
or
Pic: http://www.boners.com/content/791742.1.jpg |
| From: |
Funny Shit on April 3, 2005 @ 7:02 am |
| Comment: |
Heard on Jay Leno, January 12, 2004:
Michael Jackson has moved out of Neverland Ranch and is now leasing a $20 million Beverley Hills mansion.
It’s perfect for him - it’s right between a plastic surgeon and an elementary school.
Heard on Conan O’Brien, April 27, 2004:
Michael Jackson fired his lawyers because he thought that they were ignoring him. He said that if he wanted to be ignored, he would have released a new album.
Heard on Jay Leno, April 28, 2004:
To give you an idea how hot it was today, Michael Jackson was asking kids "What they would do for a Klondike bar."
Heard on Jay Leno, January 25, 2005:
Prosecutors in the Michael Jackson case want the children’s testimony to be kept secret. To which Michael Jackson said, "Hey, if these kids could keep a secret, I wouldn’t be here." |
| From: |
Funny Shit on April 3, 2005 @ 7:02 am |
| Comment: |
Heard on Ferguson, February 1, 2005:
The Michael Jackson trial started today. At one point during the trial the judge called for a recess and Michael said, "Goodie, where are the kids?"
Heard on Jay Leno, February 21, 2005:
As you know, Michael Jackson is out of the hospital. Doctors say within a couple of days he should be completely back to abnormal.
Heard on Jay Leno, February 23, 2005:
It’s official -- the jury has been chosen in the Michael Jackson case. It’s two-thirds female. Just like Michael. So it’ll be a jury of his peers.
Q> What kind of milk is Michael Jackson?
A> Half and half.
Pic: http://williambader.com/mjdiva.jpg |
| From: |
Mature Adult (real) on April 13, 2005 @ 6:40 am |
| Comment: |
NICE TRY, MORON... WHOEVER YOU ARE, I MUST HAVE HIT A SORE SPOT WITH YOU, SINCE YOU SPENT THE TIME (WASTED) BY TRYING TO MAKE THESE OTHER MORONS BELIEVE YOUR ME... WELL, YOU’RE JUST AS LAME AS YOU THINK I AM.. GROW UP ALREADY... IT’S OBVIOUS TO ME AND OTHERS THAT YOUR POST IS A TOTAL FAKE.... MY KEYBOARD HAD BLUE LIGHTS, NOT GREEN, SHITHEAD, I DON’T USE INFERIOR EQUIPMENT HANDED DOWN TO ME OR BOUGHT IN A FLE MARKET.. STUPID.
BY THE WAY, JUST READ THE DAMN LAME MJ JOKES ON HERE, YOUR MIND IS AROUND THAT LEVEL SO IT’LL BE AMUSED BY THESE LAME JOKES... BUH BYE, MORON.. (THE *REAL* Mature Adult) |
| From: |
Immature Adult on April 22, 2005 @ 4:35 pm |
| Comment: |
Ha-ha, this is fun.
It is good to know that you use better computer equipment then the average joe. However I don’t really care, just like the rest of us! But at the same time you still don’t know how to type properly - and that my friend is what makes you such a big dumbass. People like you who think they know, don’t really know jack, and that’s why you keep TALKING.
I’ am sure you will reply back with something really lame and immature, just like the very first time you open your annoying month.
By the way, you haven’t hit any "sore spot" with me, it just really funny how shit keeps on coming back for another wiping. |
| From: |
Mature Adult on June 12, 2005 @ 5:37 am |
| Comment: |
FUCK OFF, YOU IMMATURE PIECE OF SHIT!!!! |
| From: |
Norbert on July 6, 2005 @ 4:50 am |
| Comment: |
lol, good one. |
| From: |
butt cheeks magoo on July 6, 2005 @ 4:51 am |
| Comment: |
I HATE ALL OF YOU. YOU SHALL ALL DIE A PAINFUL DEATH.
TOOTLES...
BUTT CHEEKS MAGOO |
| From: |
to: Lina on November 14, 2005 @ 10:23 am |
| Comment: |
That’s the most beautiful name I’ve ever seen on this site so far. I could get off just by you saying your gorgeous, melodic name over and over again until I came. Everytime I ask a girl’s name and she says it’s Lina, I ask her to repeat it pretending not to hear so that I can hear it again. Then I tell her it’s a very beautiful name, which it is. Then I beat off later to that. |
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