Prankers Paradise
Jokes
Submit
Moderator
Links
Contact
Drug Rehab
Halloween
|
| |
Anal
Posted by: Ricardoretardo on January 29, 2005 @ 3:05 pm
Only in America:
Drive-through banks, pharmacies, and liquor stores.
Parking lots (car parks) larger than the buildings they serve.
Sugar-frosted honey-coated deep-fat-fried cheese sticks - and a Diet Coke.
Creationists who insist that the pharmaceutical drugs they use first be tested on monkeys and chimps.
Football in which the ball is carried or propelled much more by hand than by foot.
People who argue that human life is so sacred that abortion justifies capital punishment.
A country where "No shirt, no shoes, no service" is a dress code.
A country where the "Lower Forty-eight" states are north of Hawaii, and where the "Continental U.S" doesn’t include Alaska, which is clearly on the same continent.
A country where everyone has time to mow their three-acre lawn each week, but no one has time to cook their own food.
People driving five miles to a gym so that they can walk a mile on a treadmill.
People who value equality so much that they think discrimination should be used to create it.
Academic institutions known more for their athletes than their scholars.
A country where the Big Ten has eleven schools, and a fifth is four fifths of a quart.
A country where "evil-doer" and "do-gooder" are both negative characterizations.
A country that claims to hate lawyers, and that elects only lawyers to public office.
Prices of gasoline (petrol) that are a fraction of the price of drinking water - and people complaining about the price of gasoline.
A State Department that has nothing to do with the states.
"In God We Trust" written on every piece of money of a nation that alleges to separate church and state.
A country where only the well-to-do ride bicycles.
One of the world’s most technologically advanced countries, with the most antiquated system of weights and measures.
Everyone talks about the need for law and order, and everyone drives faster than the speed limits.
A country where having a passport makes one a suspect.
Military pilots flying long missions on the War on Drugs and taking amphetamines to do so.
The streets are cleaned regularly, but the sidewalks aren’t.
Passenger trains having to yield right-of-way to freight trains (goods trains).
Salad bars with jello and two flavors of pudding.
"The Land of the Free" with the world’s second highest incarceration rate
|
Add your own comment
| From: |
Aussie Bitch on February 3, 2005 @ 3:17 am |
| Comment: |
jeez u americans are weird, ur al soooo, i dunno, i love my country salute the national flag and...stuff, its getting old, oh and u make retarded movies, and to whoever wrote that joke, its not a joke, im not lauhging TOTAL CRAAAAAAAAAAP |
| From: |
Hot Scot on February 3, 2005 @ 11:43 am |
| Comment: |
I totaly agree wi u Aussie Bitch! I love my country too. We should stick together as we share the same queen! Fuck America!!!! |
| From: |
ryan on February 4, 2005 @ 10:09 am |
| Comment: |
shite!
|
| From: |
Marky in Nashville on February 9, 2005 @ 1:00 am |
| Comment: |
Feel lucky you’re not all speaking German. |
| From: |
AUSSIE BITCH on February 12, 2005 @ 1:26 am |
| Comment: |
to Even Sicker Boy, KISS MY ARSE U MUTHA FUKA, at least australians dont get off on pictures of the queen, anyway sheel be dead soon SO HA |
| From: |
kernowontour on February 14, 2005 @ 4:01 am |
| Comment: |
No wonder so much of the country’s wildlife tries to kill Aussies - obviously it’s heard their
jokes. |
| From: |
Even Sicker Boy on February 14, 2005 @ 7:32 am |
| Comment: |
Aussie Bitch
Your Mother sells her
massive pussy for crack.
$5 a go.
Dirty Bitch! |
| From: |
Ricardoretardo on February 14, 2005 @ 4:49 pm |
| Comment: |
hey Even Sicker Boy, thats still $4.99 more than your mother |
| From: |
Even Sicker Boy on February 15, 2005 @ 6:39 pm |
| Comment: |
Ricardoretardo, who rattled
your cage Fuck-Face?
Your Father told me "the
best part of you run down
your Mothers leg" |
| From: |
kamikaze kid on February 15, 2005 @ 7:28 pm |
| Comment: |
the afterbirth had more humour |
| From: |
IRISHB on February 23, 2005 @ 3:57 pm |
| Comment: |
RICARDO IS A IDIOT ! |
| From: |
Aussie Bitch on February 28, 2005 @ 12:39 am |
| Comment: |
yeah fuk off Ricardoretardo, he was insulting me not u, i can think of wat to say by myself i mean its not hard to insult even siccker boy i mean fuk with the things he ses it easier then wiping ur ass |
| From: |
aleak on March 18, 2005 @ 10:45 am |
| Comment: |
man nice job im sure you didnt think them up all by yourself but good job none the less! |
| From: |
aleak on March 18, 2005 @ 10:46 am |
| Comment: |
man nice job im sure you didnt think them up all by yourself but good job none the less! |
| From: |
Krazee on March 19, 2005 @ 11:32 pm |
| Comment: |
Make use of your country and go f*ck a kangaroo |
| From: |
Krazee on March 19, 2005 @ 11:35 pm |
| Comment: |
Oh and by the way, if America is f*cked up, it is only because every other nation is killing themselves trying to get in ...kiss my arse ( |
| From: |
yeeeeeep on March 27, 2005 @ 9:42 am |
| Comment: |
Sugar-frosted honey-coated deep-fat-fried cheese sticks - and a Diet Coke. --never heard of it...wtf are you thinking?
A country where "No shirt, no shoes, no service" is a dress code.--that isnt a dress code, moron
A country where everyone has time to mow their three-acre lawn each week, but no one has time to cook their own food. --uhm yeah we cook our own food...I’m sure you have fast food there too
Prices of gasoline (petrol) that are a fraction of the price of drinking water - and people complaining about the price of gasoline. --where the hell did you read that?
A country where only the well-to-do ride bicycles. --thats a lie
One of the world’s most technologically advanced countries, with the most antiquated system of weights and measures. --deal with it..we dont bitch about the metric system
Everyone talks about the need for law and order, and everyone drives faster than the speed limits. --not everyone..and I’m sure people there do it too
|
| From: |
HEY NOW on April 2, 2005 @ 1:46 pm |
| Comment: |
RICARDO...
YOU KNOW YOU STILL LOVE US
-ARNOLD SHWARTZENEGER.
|
| From: |
mommyofone on April 2, 2005 @ 11:38 pm |
| Comment: |
if america was soooo bad than how come so many people come here on a daily/weekly/monthly/yearly basis to get out of the country..... for a better education.....for a better life in general.......... i would dare aussie bitch(sounds like an appropiate name) and richardo to come to new york and stand around saying how bad america is...... they would get their asses kicked in no time would be fun to watch..........way funnier than that "joke"--- |
| From: |
Ian on July 2, 2005 @ 12:07 am |
| Comment: |
I am American and love America - however, it it makes me sad that the truth is everything you say is true, but we must be doin somthin right cause America will whoop your bitch ass!!! |
| From: |
Lil sainter on September 14, 2005 @ 4:34 am |
| Comment: |
hey, aussie bitch...i total c were ur cumin from, i moved ova 2 aus last yr...n let me tel ya, i useda live in america, but im Irish....AUSTRALIA IS BETA THAN AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| From: |
Aussie on September 25, 2005 @ 9:21 am |
| Comment: |
IRAQ is another Vietnam. Has America really won any wars? They’re only in Iraq because of the oil. |
| From: |
IP Freely on October 3, 2005 @ 6:37 pm |
| Comment: |
Marky in Nashville needs to be thankful he’s not speaking French |
| From: |
notAnig on November 1, 2005 @ 11:27 am |
| Comment: |
everyone of yall (yea i said yall u stuipid fucking brits) can suck my fat white AMERICAN DICK and swallow my RICH CREAMY AMERICAN CUM. U fucking wankers. |
| From: |
Ricardoretardo on June 20, 2006 @ 10:35 am |
| Comment: |
notAnig, sorry I can’t swallow your "Rich Creamy American Cum" (Is that a new brand of Breakfast Cereal by the way?) , but It looks like your father beat me to it, now go and shoot your mouth of somewhere else, like Afghanistan. |
|
|
